"Being a Supreme Court justice is easy.  Riding a

bicycle is hard."

"Don't Breitbart me, bro!"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #80

Curse of the Crazy Mama

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #491

Andy Holt

Mark Sanford Loses Debate with Cardboard

Image of Nancy Pelosi

Authorities Puzzled Why Adam Savader Never Tried

to Blackmail Ann Coulter with Nude Pictures

Buena Vista Township, Michigan Clerk Apologizes 

for Being 'Arrogant Platko'

Alex Jones Falls into Tsarnaev Brothers Plot Hole

"I want a new conspiracy theory

One that won't make me sick

One that won't make me crash my car

Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new conspiracy theory

One that won't hurt my head

One that won't make my mouth too dry

Or make my eyes too red

I want a new conspiracy theory

One that won't go away

One that won't keep me up all night

One that won't make me sleep all day

I want a new conspiracy theory

One with no doubt

One that won't make me talk too much

Or make my face break out."

The Cheney Room in the George W. Bush

Presidential Center

Some faces could stop a clock.  Others, like Steve 

Kush's, scream, "I AM THE GOP!"

When we saw the headline, 'Former Ryan Intern Arrested 

in Nude Photo Scheme', why were we not surprised?

Mormon Bishop Scares Off Attacker 

with Sword of Moroni

Warm Scuzzies #388

Adam Savader

Stacey Campfield Bombs in Tennessee

"So sorry I look so gaudy, but my everyday skin is

at the cleaners."

World's Worst Jobs #132

Nepalese Well Digger

In terms of Aristotle's philosophy, this

banana peel has not yet actualized its 

potential to become a key player in 

one of the world's most famous jokes.

While the rest of the world was rocked by wars and 

revolutions, Texans were celebrating the new line 

of Whataburger Condiments, now available at

H-E-B.

Blank Slate #13

Top Stories from April 23, 2013

"What's Better for You:  Running or Walking?"

"A Grand Unified Theory of Mad Men"

"Does Janelle Monáe’s New Song Address 

Her Sexuality?"

"Help!  My Husband Is Scandalized by My 

Post-Breast-Feeding Bust Size"

The Unexpurgated Bible #88

"And, behold, when the End comes, an

 infant child shall yawn and inhale the 

entire Universe."

NATO Soldier in Afghanistan Loses Way,

Ends Up in Colorado

Sean Hannity Said to Be Out of Danger

Following Emergency Coulterectomy

CNN’s John King Embarrassed by Boston 

Reporting, Will Be Called 'John Peasant' 

From Now On

Max Baucus to Retire

Mystery solved!  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev admits that he 

and his brother stole Saddam Hussein's Weapons 

of Mass Destruction and used several of them in 

Boston.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #490

Chris Nogy

Warm Scuzzies #387

Republican Party of Benton County, Arkansas

Oxymorons for Our Time #152

Seasoned Pundit

If you wish to determine the age of Chuck Grassley's

face, it helps to think in terms of geological time.

World's Worst Yobs #284

Michael Pakaluk

Greg Ball (R-NY) Believes Tomás de Torquemada Has

a Lot to Teach America in the 21st Century

Richard Simmons reminds us that today is Earth Day.

"Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and 

say that she did not believe that I was really Ross 

Douthat. I told Mrs. Witherspoon to sit on her butt 

and be quiet."

21st Century Schizoid Man Gives Big Shout-Out

to New George W. Bush Presidential Center

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #489

Rick Green

Issur Danielovitch (the Movie Star Formerly

Known as Kirk Douglas)

Pat Robertson Captured on Film Communicating with

Gang of Three