Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #83

Dracula's Daughter Goes to Wingstop

Warm Scuzzies #400

Ben Baldanza

Jan Brewer's face has more strata than the

Grand Canyon.

Gabriel 'Duckweed' Gomez Calls Ed Markey

'Pond Scum'

Sheriff Joe had to bite his tongue when he swore

 that his office has never used race in making its 

law-enforcement decisions.

Paula Deen Getting Her Own Museum

Young Kentuckians Learn Addition by Counting

Mitch McConnell's Chins

Warm Scuzzies #399

The Briad Group

Andrea Tantaros Sez:  “Obama said he would 

change the country. He said it. He said it. 

And a lot of people voted for him. And 

if you see any of those people today, do 

me a favor: punch them in the face!”

[That would be over 58 million faces

she's demanding to be punched.]

"We have nothing to fear.  Period!"

Rumsfeld's Rule #1:

"Rules are like pie crusts,

made to be broken."

Southern Baptist Convention Sez:

“We are deeply saddened. Homo-

sexual behavior is incompatible

with the principles enshrined in 

the Scout oath and Scout law,

which God instituted on the

Sixth Day of Creation.”

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #500

Steve Smith

Parental Advisory #5

Explicit Comfort Station Claymation

One wonders if Greg Abbott, a Roman Catholic,

 obeys the Fourth Commandment, "Remember the 

Sabbath Day, to keep it holy."

-

Equine Pornographer at Work

Still Life with Donald Rumsfeld and Iraq

Parmenides and His Horse Proving That Change

Is Impossible

Nature abhors a vacuum. This has been true 

since one of the preSocratics first ejaculated, 

"Goddam this Eureka!."

As Zippy the Pinhead might say, "All life is a blur

of Spinghazi and Tittoos."

Senator Coburn's Cat

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #82

The Unloved One

"Let me be clear, I don't trust the Republicans.  And I 

don't trust the Democrats.  Some days, I'm so

McCarthyized, I don't even trust myself! And I 

don't drink!"

Little Known Fact #37

Stephen King moonlights as an understudy to Mike

Gordon, the bass player of Phish.

Sorry, Daft Punk, but trading one copy of Chase and 

Status's 'No More Idols' for ten copies of 'Random

 Access Memories' would be a bad deal. 

Plumber's Friend

Tax-Dodger's Friend

E. W. 'Wide Awake' Jackson Demands to See 

Harry Reid's LDS Identification Card

For the fourth time since 1956, the residents of

Portland, Oregon have voted to foil the con-

spiracy to sap and impurify all of their precious 

bodily fluids.

"You're cute and all, little darlin', and I know you're

hungry, but like the Bible says, 'The one who is unwilling 

to work shall not eat'.”

Warm Scuzzies #398

Tim Cook

More Tornadoes from the Global Warming Hoax? 

Nobody Knows!

World's Worst Yobs #287

Christopher Bedford

Malkin Dairy Breed Best Known for High Yield 

of Clabbered Milk

It didn't take long for the world to realize that Tom

Coburn was nothing more than a run-of-the-mill

street thug.

"The reports that I have become a zombie are

somewhat exaggerated."

Mark Amodei (R-NV) Sez:  "While I'm happy to give

up my taxpayer-subsidized health insurance, I would

ask that everyone keep their distance and not breathe

any germs on me."

"Honestly, do I look stark staring mad to you?"

Rand Paul Says 'Damning IRS Memo' 

Hidden Under Bigfoot's Party Hat

"Where is he?"

"Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."

It's official:  Mt. Everest is now the world's 

highest landfill.

Warm Scuzzies #397

Jonathan Karl

The Jackass Whisperer

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #499

Pete Santilli

"Take it from me, folks:  'Aquafresh Iso-Active Lasting 

Impact Head-to-Toe Whitening Paste' really works!

Be sure to try our recipe for kickin' Hindu Skewers!

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #137

Cranky Hermit