Senatorial support for Sonia Sotomayor's nomination
to the Supreme Court may ultimately depend on who
preferred reading Nancy Drew as a child as opposed
to the Hardy Boys.

How many 'Lone Wolves' does it take to make a 'Wolf Pack'?
And how many 'Wolf Packs' does it take to make a 'Dog Eat
Dog World'? And just how long does a 'Dog Eat Dog World'
last?

After immersing herself in the rightist blogosphere over
the past week, Shawna Forde--Executive Director of
Minutemen American Defense--became convinced that
her arrest today for murder, burglary, and aggravated
assault was due to inchoate leftist tendencies educed
by the election of President Barack Obama. She was
comforted with the knowledge that she wasn't alone,
that she was joined by James Von Brunn, Scott Roeder,
and Jim Adkisson in suffering a similar fate.

"Talk of 'false equivalences' makes snakes
crawl into my nose and out of my mouth.
Aiyeeeeeeeeeee!"

What Shawna Forde--Murderer, Burglar, and
Anti-Immigration Activist--Likes to Do on Her
Day Off

"I don't care if we are love birds. Something tells
me that that off-color bird over there is not of our
feather, which means we shouldn't be
flocking together."

"A federal judge has ruled that John Yoo will have to
answer in court to accusations that his work led to a
prisoner being tortured and deprived of his
constitutional rights."

Sarko the Giant Criticizes German Chancellor's Bosom,
Ignites Second Franco-Prussian War

World's Worst Yoobs #41
Heather Mac Donald

A heretofore secret document has revealed that
Mark Holick, the so-called 'Kansas pastor', is
actually a crypto-Nebraskan.

They lived in a land where even the dead had to lock
up their memories, lest they be stolen.

Little Angel and Tubby the Tuba Playing Hide and Seek

What Dr. Rick Marshall Discovered
in the Land of the Lost

The GOP pachyderm is looking more and more
like a wooly mammoth these days. Is this a sign
of the imminent extinction of the Republican
Party or evidence that Al Gore may be wrong
about global warming?

If all you have is a Krauthammer,
everything looks like an Epic Fail.

Two-Minute Haters #5
Benjamin Netanyahu

James Von Brunn reminds us that you're never
too old--and it's never too late--to hate.

No matter how easy he tried to make it, no
one wanted to steal Mahmoud's identity.

Dave Letterman Inducted into National Organization for
Women's 'Media Hall of Shame', Rightists' Heads Explode

Now that Carrie Prejean has been dethroned as Miss
California, will she have to give back her stunt breasts?

One of these eggs is Kim Jong-il's successor in disguise.
Can you tell which one?

"Before I step aside as the CEO of AIG,
I thought I would entertain you with
some of my favorite shadow animals."

Is Morning Joe still laughing at the DHS report about
the threat posed by right-wing extremists?

Even the Great Wall of China could not keep them apart.
Such was the power of love. Unfortunately, two weeks
later they broke up, because he was a big fan of Lil' Kim
and she wasn't.

Some games you win, some you lose. That's life.

What if you were to learn that Michelle Malkin, like James
Von Brunn, is neither a rightist nor a leftist, but only a loony?
Would you consider that a plus or a minus for the Hot Air diva?

If you happen to live in Pakistan and need a recession-proof
job, you might consider a career as coffin salesman.

Q: "Pardon me, sir, but how would you
define 'Right-Wing Extremists'?"

A: "Clowns with guns."

Even though he is a numbskull global-warming denier,
you have to give John Coleman, founder of the The
Weather Channel, credit for making a fortune selling
to Americans what they already had plenty of, namely,
weather.

James Von Brunn was in such a hurry to shoot up the
Holocaust Memorial Museum yesterday that he not only
neglected to sign his ID card but he left it in the car.

Pro-Lifesaver Activists Confident Odious Row v.
Wade Decision Will Be Overturned Soon

"Yes, darling, as I recall from my art appreciation class,
Picasso painted the Effing Tower during his Blue Period."

Flag Desecration #19

Skinhead Puts His Foot Down, Thanks Debbie Schlussel
for Blaming Muslims for His Action

Dan Collins--of Protein Wisdom renown--has just learned he is the recipient of the Wicked Words of the Week Award for his invectivorous locutions relative to Dave Letterman's dissing of Sarah Palin and daughter, including "scum- sucking morons," "gutter-dwelling hobgoblins of putrescence," and "a 27th level nasty cocksucker priest of vicious filth." Congratulations, Dan!

Meet John DeNugent, a Member of the'Responsible White Separatist Community',
and Ideological Cousin of Ted DeNugent

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #44
Debbie Schlussel

Turd Blossom Speaks Out:
"Maureen Dowd is a bitter,
twisted, deranged columnist
for The New York Times."

Obama Administration Rumored to Be Considering
Rightwing Terrorist Attacks in the U. S. as Rationale
for Regime Change in Argentina

GOP Leader Rep. Eric Cantor Predicts
Republican Landslide in 2010

Isn't it comforting to know that rightist
fruitcakes, like James Von Brunn, Scott
Roeder, and Jim Adkisson, are running
around loose, packing lethal heat?

Tiger Woods Displaying Symptoms of Iron Deficiency Anemia

Dave Letterman Disses Sarah Palin,
Rivals Rush Limbaugh as the Most
'Thuglike Misogynist Creep' in Town

Baby Gamera Learning How to Fly

Jon Voight Calls President Obama a 'False Prophet';
President Obama Claims Jon Voight Was Once
Regurgitated by a 'Fake Anaconda'

Wubbzy's First 'Soft Toy' Summit Declared
Unqualified Success

Now that he has mastered Twitter, will
Chuck Grassley, at 75, become the
Senate's oldest sexter?

Clay Prophylactic, Inscribed with Cuneiform
Graffiti, Evidence of Early Mesopotamian
Birth Control

Senator McConnell Trying to Think
of Something to Think

Planet Earth's Dandruff Problem Creating
Self-Esteem Issues