Saturday, March 18, 2017

Dining with the Trumps
"I need a new hat. People are using my current one
as a spindle."
Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway Running 
Neck-and-Neck in Race for National 
Laughingstock Prize
Sign Painter Says He's Hooked on Phonics
When Ireland's Prime Minister Enda Kenny 'burned'
Donald Trump on Saint Patrick's Day, it wasn't the
first time something like that happened.
It's a dirty job but somebody has to do it.
As a Frisbeetarian, Trump's prayers ascended no higher 
than the White House roof and got stuck there.
What's better than trading stamps?  Swastikabucks!
Meals on Wheels Go to Mar-a-Lago
Trump Issues New Executive Order Regarding the Ap
That Has the Worst Job in the World
The Leader of the Free World Meets 
Orange Julius Caesar
Like Buck Rogers, Trump always wore an
anti-gravity belt.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Warm Scuzzies #726
The Heidi Group
It Looks Like You're Using an Ad-Blocker!
It was a hugely awkward moment for Merkel and Trump
 when a steam locomotive suddenly emerged out of the 
White House fireplace.
Why We Celebrate Saint Patrick's Day
"Unlike older incinerators of the poor, gentlemen, 
the Mulvaney Imperial is self-cleaning."
Yes, her name is Charla McComic.  And, yes, she's a Trumpnik.
Next question?
Mick Mulvaney Leads the Congregation in Singing,
'Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus!'
Ta-Tas for the Tillerson
Man with Six-Pack Abs
Virtue Signalling
If Sean Hannity points a gun at you, 
he's just trying to educate you.
Sean Hannity Pulls Gun on Juan Williams, Says It Was 
'For Educational Purposes Only'

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Before he was charged with prostitution within 1,000 feet
of a church, Ralph Shortey liked to fondle his guns.
Ralph Shortey (R-OK) has been charged with three
felonies, including child prostitution.  We all know 
who the guy on the right is.
Dutch Pronunciation
Delilah Stood There Laughing
If you're drinking Ripple, the correct answer is 
probably 'Yes'.
Way Down Yonder in the Land of Cotton
Old Times There Are Not Forgotten
"That wasn't just an automobile accident!  
That was an assassination attempt!"
"Just wanted to let you know there are millions more
of us than we thought."

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Politico Illustrated #54
'Trump's budget delivers red meat to GOP base'
ExxonMobil Denies Rex Tillerson Played 'Wayne Tracker'
in The Venture Bros.
Hadji and Jonny Quest React to News That Rex
Tillerson Used the Alias 'Wayne Tracker' to Discredit
Climate Science
"Hey there, Boo Boo, did you, like Senator
Sessions, tell a boo boo?"
"It’s better to cultivate mutual understanding of each 
other’s fears than try to smooth away the fear of tyranny 
with the grease of apathy," quoth Jonah Goldberg, 
the Burger-Flipping Robot.
If the tape which reveals Ryan dissing Donald Trump five
 months ago is 'ancient history', what does he call The Ides 
of March in 44 BC?
Decisions, Decisions!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Proud of your knobby knees? Then you'll
want to pick up a pair of Jindows at
Nordstrom.  Only $95.
Meet Beauregard Bugleboy, Jeff Sessions' Hound
How to Defend Yourself If Someone Attacks You with 
Fresh Fruit, Especially Bananas
Look, a Pi Pie!
Zorak Speaks #4
The only similarity between Trump and The Shadow is 
they both have 'the power to cloud men's minds'.
Pat McCrory Sez: “People are reluctant to hire me, 
because, oh my gosh, I'm a Persimmon Puss.”
“I am not going to defend Donald Trump---not now, 
not in the future.”
“If you look at Trump's tweet, he said very clearly, quote, 
'wire tapping' — in quotes.”
Only $12.99 at Best Buy!
Every time he was tempted to believe in White Supremacy, 
he would look at Steve King and say, "Nope!"

Monday, March 13, 2017

Kellyanne Conway Takes a Selfie with
Trump's Sunbeam Microwave Oven
Sean Spicer Sez: "You can trust what Trump says
 'if he's not joking'."