Saturday, December 24, 2016

With an approval rating of only 41%, Trump's marriage 
to America will skip the Honeymoon stage and go 
directly to Disillusionment, Misery, and Filing the 
Paperwork.
Were the Rockettes rehearsing for Trump's inauguration,
or were they audtioning for Monty Python's 'Silly Walks'
sketch?
"You were supposed to kiss the frog, Donald,
not swallow it!"
Trump Says U.S. Would ‘Outmatch’ Rivals in a New 
Nuclear Christmas Tree Race
With the new Amazon PrimeNow delivery option, your 
merchandise arrives two days before you order it.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #673
Steven Hotze
Mount Gaspmore
The Unexpurgated Bible #146
"For it is written, 'Vengeance is mine; I will repay', 
saith the Trump."
"Did you get a Christmas letter from Putin?"
"No."
"Loser!"
Little Known Fact #65
Tucker Carlson looks good in thigh-high boots.
Ted Cruz's cat learns the hard way that Bromhidrosis and 
Stinkfoot are one and the same.
Felix Navidad
“I know words, I have the best words. I have the best, 
but there is no better word than 'reprehensible'. Yes,
Carl Paladino is reprehensible."

Friday, December 23, 2016

Trippple Nippples Still Waiting for Invitation to Perform
at Trump's Inaugural Ball
'I Saw Mommy Kissing Carl Paladino 
Underneath the Mistletoe Last Night'
(And She's Been Dead Since 1968)
The Taming of Notorious P.I.G.
Trump's festering gob is really quite terrifying.
Scientists Announce First Successful 
Human-Jellyfish Hybrid
The Dan Patrick Memorial Comfort Station
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
Each shining light
Each silver bell
No one alive spreads cheer so well.
First there was the Missile Gap.  Then came the Mineshaft
Gap. Now we have a MAD (Mutual Assured
Destruction) Gap.
Would you buy a used 'charitable' foundation from this 
man?

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Warm Scuzzies #718
Dan Kirby
Build a Better Mouthtrap and the Mice Won't Know 
What Devoured Them
With no experience in their respective departments, Trump's 
cabinet is made up of conveniently interchangeable parts.
Trump Calls for Expanded Nuclear Arsenal
"Kellyanne, when did you first realize that beauty sleep
helps repair sagging skin?"

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

In his arthropodal nightmares, Mike Cernovich is chased
 by Centipedophiles and Millipedophiles.
"How does 'Surgeon-General Bornstein' sound?"
You can tell Trump is still smarting from the fact that 
a woman beat him in a popularity contest.
Trump pulls the plug on the 'cute' Drain the Swamp slogan
and shirts swamp the drain.
"Is it true, Dr. Bornstein, that as soon as a new patient lays 
eyes on you, he starts singing, 'I Don't Need No Doctor'?"
Entrée at Trump's Inaugural Dinner
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #152
Uday and Qusay Have Risen from the Grave
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. 
                                                   
                                                            --- Joseph Stilwell
"I'm not a gropey old man.  I'm only 76!"
Old Kaintuck Goes on Anti-Immigrant Tirade, Cusses
in Bad English

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

As Weird Al might sing, "Look what I bought on 
eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!"
Which Trump will be next on the auction block?
A private Lap Dance with Melania for 
$500,000?
Vladimir Putin and His Kentucky Kabin Boy

Monday, December 19, 2016

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #672
Bill Chumley
Trump and His SS (Scheissesturmers)
Trump Calls Turkish Assassin, 'Radical Islamic Terrorist',
ISIS Surrenders Unconditionally
Mick Mulvaney (R-SC) Forms Alliance with the John
Birch Society to Determine If President Eisenhower 
Was an Agent of the Communist Conspiracy
Will history record that World War III started in an
art gallery?
"Remember when I said, 'The election is being rigged 
by corrupt media. Total losers!' Well, they're still
corrupt, but these losers are now kissing my ass with
a smile!"
Documents Show Tillerson Has Even Closer Ties to
 Russia Than Previously Thought; Tillerson and Putin 
Enjoy Dancing Cheek to Cheek
Sign of the Times #69
Kiddie Pool for Sale
The Smirker wasn't necessarily Batman's most 
fearsome foe, but he was definitely the most
unbearable.
The child instinctively knew that Santa Claus was just
another Reality TV star, like Donald Trump.