Warm Scuzzies #885

Carey Wright

Haley-Pence Rivalry Heats Up

It's Lunchtime at the G7 Summit

"And we have great mental illness," Trump said, 

laping again into Royal We Mode.

Trump Says Kim Jong-un Enjoys Testing Missiles and

Playing with His Santorum Extruder

Trump's Moleman Persona a Habitué of 

DC's Long-Abandoned Trolley Tunnels

James Fallows Sez: "If an airline learned that a pilot was 

talking publicly about being 'the Chosen One' or 'the King

 of Israel' (or Scotland or whatever), the airline would be

 looking carefully into whether this person should be in 

the cockpit."

It's Trump's Fantasy Island. We only live on it.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #775

Douglas Belmore

Boris Johnson's Favorite Energy Drink

World's Worst Yoobs #207

Amy Wax

Freddie the Freeloader, the Well-Toned Bum

It Takes Two Hands to Handle a Whopper

Famous Last Words

Good Grooming, the Tacit Dimension of International Amity

The Status of Franco-British Relations

New Press Secretary Thought to Be Overqualified for

Job in Trump White House

The Last Days of Moscow Mitch

Senator Tom Cotton Now Taking Credit for Planting

the Idea of Purchasing Greenland, Akansas in 

Trump's Head

In the old days, when you were past your prime, you were 

put out to pasture.  Today, when your Use By date draws

 nigh, you are put out to Fox News.

Son:  "Mom, Dad's acting like a quadruped again."

Mom:  "Pay him no mind, son.  He always behaves that

 way after he's had five shots of Donkey Piss Tequila."

Shameless Octogenarians in Park Charged with Bragging 

About Lewd Conduct

King of the Shmoos

Even when Trump poops in the punchbowl, Trumpniks

can't chug-a-lug it fast enough to keep it from overflowing.

Levantine Rebus 

Why is it legal for a restaurant employee in California to 

purchase a cache of weapons like this?  Perhaps Trump

can answer this question.

Department of Labor Statistical Error 

Described as 'Yoooge!'

World's Worst Yoobs #206

Katie Williams

What if you were promised one trillion one-dollar bills

 on the condition that you had to count them first at the

 rate of one dollar per second. Do you know how long it 

would take you to count them? Approximately 12,684

 years!

They Call Him 'Chinless Mitch'

Adventures in Aestheticism #207

Harry Potter Said It Better

And in the last days there shall arise the Great Trumpnik

Heresy of the Dual Kingship of Israel.

How long will it be before Trump starts tweeting passages

from The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #189

Son of Lawnmower Man

Not since Bristol Palin appeared on Dancing with the

Stars nine years ago has the world held its breath in

anticipation of an Earth-shaking event.

Adventures in Aestheticism #206

Wayne Allyn Root argued that "Robert Mueller's 

investigation into Russian interference in the 2016

 election is motivated by 'penis envy', because

 'Mueller’s is smaller than Trump’s'."

"Recession?  No way!  I want to cut taxes just for the hell of it!"

Katharine Gorka says she stepped down as press secretary for

Customs and Border Protection because she wanted to spend

 more time with her flesh-eating plants.

Says a former American ambassador, "Mike Pompeo is like 

a heat-seeking missile for Trump's ass." Deep Asskisser, 

in other words.

Epstein's Half-Billion-Dollar Baby

Heather Mac Donald needs to take a crash course

 in graphology.

Trump Lashes Jerome Powell for His

'Horrendous Lack of Vision'; Fed Chair

Blames His Ophthalmologist

Marianne Williamson Vows to Remove Zombie Andrew 

Jackson Painting from Oval Office

Mark Halperin Has Risen from the Grave

and Written a Bloody Book!

Did you hear about the new Trumpnik

drinking game?

Before the police get too complacent, let us remember 

that anyone who owns an assault weapon is a 'potential

 mass shooter'.  And current estimates suggest that 

Americans currently own approximately three million

assault weapons.

And won't Trump be surprised when She does.

Trump Sez:  "I'm the one calling the shots around here."