Not even God can change the truth.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
"If my Democratic colleagues in the House weren't
so arrogant, belligerent, dishonest, shameless, inept,
incompetent, hostile, petulant, and sophomoric, we
might get along just fine."
"Sure, I was convicted on 12 counts of
racketeering, money laundering, and
conspiracy. But I don't think it would be
appropriate for me to be incarcerated in
the Pennsylvania Child Care Detention
Center. It costs at least $315 a day per
inmate over there, and I don't think
that would be a wise use of tax-
payer money in these tough times."
North Korea announced today the merger of the Kim Jong-il
cult of personality with the Ronald Reagan cult of personality.
"This merger will be good for the two cults, as they will be
able to cut costs and better serve their members on a
global basis," said a spokesman for the Ronald Reagan
Presidential Foundation and Library in Simi Valley.
Friday, February 18, 2011
According to the Bible, only eight people were saved on
the ark: Noah, his wife, his three sons---Shem, Ham, and
Japheth--and their wives. That's eight people. It would be
fair to assume that these same eight people also built the
ark. (And keep in mind that Noah was 600 years old at
the time, with no Social Security). So, can you imagine
Noah and his family building the ark today, even with
$37 million in tax incentives from the state of Kentucky?
"You may have seen my first film. It was released in 1963
and was called The Saucy Aussie, with the tagline, 'Never
before anything this bold ... this daring!' Righto, mate, those
were the days! I didn't make much moolah back then, but it
was tits and ass, wall-to-wall!"