Mortified Breitbart on Wheat Toast

In terms of the individual, having an inordinately 

high opinion of oneself is called 'Egotism'.  In 

terms of a nation, it's called 'Chauvinism'.  Here 

in the USA, people like Mitt Romney prefer to

call it 'American Exceptionalism'.

Breaking News Mashups #3

'Holder Appoints Two Attorneys to Investigate 

Sardines, Swallowed Live'

Puffington Host #3

Now with 25% More Sideboob Photography!

"So what if my approval rating has fallen to 31%.  What

ultimately matters in politics is who has the power.  And

right now, I've got it."

Julia Roberts Does Her 'Two-Face' Impression

It looks like Rick Santorum is taking the next step

toward some good, old-fashioned religious, ethnic,

racial, and gender cleansing.  Remember Bosnia?

Warm Scuzzies #300

Creflo Dollar, Jr.

"What's that?"

"It's North Carolina State Senators debating a sea-level 

rise bill that doesn't take global warming into account."

Civilization is a verb, Goldberg is an interjection.

Breaking News Mashups #2

'Huge Algae Blooms Found Under Lauryn Hill'

Warm Scuzzies #299

Brian Presley

Democracy?  What an antiquated idea!

We moderns now live in a Dollarocracy.

 May the richest man win!

"I'll give you $10 for it and throw in a vegetarian corn dog

to boot!"

"My hat's not for sale, Governor Perry.  I just want

you to autograph it.  Besides, I'm not a vegetarian."

Jabberwonky #1

Matt Yglesias Asks:  "Could Obama Have Gotten More 

Stimulus by Abandoning Health Reform?"

"Another victim of Glock Perfection?"

"Yessir, 'fraid so."

"Oh, hell yes, Michelle!  Most people don't have any idea

how much fun it is being completely ridiculous."

Although just a child, she was already beginning to under-

stand the meaning of the American Dream:  she was one 

of the lucky girls whose parents could afford to own both 

an iron and an ironing board.

When he heard that he was the most unpopular living 

President, George Bush wished that Richard Nixon had 

lived to be 99.

Latest Poll Shows 'Woofus Liberty' Running

Neck and Neck in Popularity with 

'Religious Liberty'

"Next up in The Velveeta Room is one of the cheesiest 

comics to come along since Mallard Fillmore."

Breaking News Mashups #1

'Nuke Sub's $400M Fire Blamed on Unimaginative 

eHarmony Passwords'

"Would whoever left Representative Issa's head at the 

podium please put it back in the veggie bin where it belongs?"

The incidence of face-eating just goes to show 

what extreme lengths one has to go to these 

days to become a celebrity.

Cash-Strapped Romney Campaign 

Can't Afford Spell Checker

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #132

Outcome of Kreep/Peed Contest Keeping 

San Diegans on Tenterhooks

Warm Scuzzies #298

Raul Rodriguez

Oxymorons for Our Time #129

Economic Recovery

"I didn't realize you smoked."

"Only after sex."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #392

Stephanie Gray

Iowa Man Keeps 100,000-Year-Old Mammoth Bone 

as Chew Toy for His Pet Sabre-Tooth Tiger

"Nasdaq is offering $40 million in cash and rebates to its clients 

to make up for the glitches during the Farcebook IPO."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's Going Gout."

This is NOT one of the '100 Hottest Sideboob Photos 

of All Time'.  Sorry!

Koch Trounces Barrett in Wisconsin Recall Election

"Quite frankly, Wisconsin is my kind of state."

Louisiana Pachyderms Going After It Trunks and Tusks

Al-Qaida's No. 2 Killed by a Drone for the Sixth Time

New, Improved GOP Mascot

A Sister's Love Is Heaven Sent

There's a reason people call him 'Brian Darling', instead

of 'Brain Darling'.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #131

Widespread Panic

Widespread Picnic

Recently-Declassified Photograph #29

The Unexpurgated Version of  Dubya's

Official White House Portrait

Anders Behring Breitbart, Knight-Errant

If given the choice, always order your 

Friedrich Von Hayek sunny side up.

Is he ... or isn't he?  Only his psychiatrist knows for sure.

The Max Stirner Memorial Cross-Country Ski Marathon