Saturday, June 09, 2012

Mortified Breitbart on Wheat Toast
In terms of the individual, having an inordinately 
high opinion of oneself is called 'Egotism'.  In 
terms of a nation, it's called 'Chauvinism'.  Here 
in the USA, people like Mitt Romney prefer to
call it 'American Exceptionalism'.
Breaking News Mashups #3
'Holder Appoints Two Attorneys to Investigate 
Sardines, Swallowed Live'
Puffington Host #3
Now with 25% More Sideboob Photography!
"So what if my approval rating has fallen to 31%.  What
ultimately matters in politics is who has the power.  And
right now, I've got it."
Julia Roberts Does Her 'Two-Face' Impression

It looks like Rick Santorum is taking the next step
toward some good, old-fashioned religious, ethnic,
racial, and gender cleansing.  Remember Bosnia?
Warm Scuzzies #300
Creflo Dollar, Jr.

Friday, June 08, 2012

"What's that?"
"It's North Carolina State Senators debating a sea-level 
rise bill that doesn't take global warming into account."
Civilization is a verb, Goldberg is an interjection.
Breaking News Mashups #2
'Huge Algae Blooms Found Under Lauryn Hill'
Warm Scuzzies #299
Brian Presley

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Democracy?  What an antiquated idea!
We moderns now live in a Dollarocracy.
 May the richest man win!
"I'll give you $10 for it and throw in a vegetarian corn dog
to boot!"
"My hat's not for sale, Governor Perry.  I just want
you to autograph it.  Besides, I'm not a vegetarian."
Jabberwonky #1
Matt Yglesias Asks:  "Could Obama Have Gotten More 
Stimulus by Abandoning Health Reform?"
"Another victim of Glock Perfection?"
"Yessir, 'fraid so."
"Oh, hell yes, Michelle!  Most people don't have any idea
how much fun it is being completely ridiculous."
Although just a child, she was already beginning to under-
stand the meaning of the American Dream:  she was one 
of the lucky girls whose parents could afford to own both 
an iron and an ironing board.

When he heard that he was the most unpopular living 
President, George Bush wished that Richard Nixon had 
lived to be 99.
Latest Poll Shows 'Woofus Liberty' Running
Neck and Neck in Popularity with 
'Religious Liberty'
"Next up in The Velveeta Room is one of the cheesiest 
comics to come along since Mallard Fillmore."
Breaking News Mashups #1
'Nuke Sub's $400M Fire Blamed on Unimaginative 
eHarmony Passwords'
"Would whoever left Representative Issa's head at the 
podium please put it back in the veggie bin where it belongs?"
The incidence of face-eating just goes to show 
what extreme lengths one has to go to these 
days to become a celebrity.
Cash-Strapped Romney Campaign 
Can't Afford Spell Checker
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #132
Outcome of Kreep/Peed Contest Keeping 
San Diegans on Tenterhooks
Warm Scuzzies #298
Raul Rodriguez
Oxymorons for Our Time #129
Economic Recovery
"I didn't realize you smoked."
"Only after sex."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #392
Stephanie Gray

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Iowa Man Keeps 100,000-Year-Old Mammoth Bone 
as Chew Toy for His Pet Sabre-Tooth Tiger
"Nasdaq is offering $40 million in cash and rebates to its clients 
to make up for the glitches during the Farcebook IPO."
"What's wrong with him?"
"He's Going Gout."
This is NOT one of the '100 Hottest Sideboob Photos 
of All Time'.  Sorry!
Koch Trounces Barrett in Wisconsin Recall Election
"Quite frankly, Wisconsin is my kind of state."
Louisiana Pachyderms Going After It Trunks and Tusks

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Al-Qaida's No. 2 Killed by a Drone for the Sixth Time

New, Improved GOP Mascot
A Sister's Love Is Heaven Sent
There's a reason people call him 'Brian Darling', instead
of 'Brain Darling'.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #131
Widespread Panic

Widespread Picnic
Recently-Declassified Photograph #29
The Unexpurgated Version of  Dubya's
Official White House Portrait

Anders Behring Breitbart, Knight-Errant

Monday, June 04, 2012

If given the choice, always order your 
Friedrich Von Hayek sunny side up.
Is he ... or isn't he?  Only his psychiatrist knows for sure.
The Max Stirner Memorial Cross-Country Ski Marathon