World's Worst Yobs #253

Neil Munro

Team Wendy's Disconsolate After Baconator Debacle

in Kiev

We Come in Peace for All Mankind

Whirlybird Hunting Season Now Open in Brazil

The stock price of Cynicism reached a new high today when

the Discovery Channel revealed that Captain Kangaroo 

was never actually a captain, that he had padded his resume

 and had never risen above the rank of corporal.

Colonel Sanders Sez:  "Although I'm often 

confused with Fearguth, don't be fooled:  

he neither owns a string tie nor does he 

know my secret recipe of  eleven herbs

and spices."

Little Known Fact #30

When she's Wonder Woman, Sarah Palin

 can run so fast she can dodge all the

raindrops in a thunderstorm and never 

get wet.  When she's not, she's just 

another grifter.

The Politico Illustrated #26

"Welcome to Inside David Koch, brought to you by 

The Politico's resident colonoscopists, Kenneth 

P. Vogel and Tarini Parti.  Oh, the mouse?  Just

a local resident.  Calls itself Danger Mouse."

"Sorry, no helicopter rides for climate change deniers."

Husband of Seven Wives Says Five Wives Vodka "Only 

80 Proof, Not Nearly Strong Enough to Get Me Through 

a Whole Week's Worth of Wives"

"Country First?  Ha!  John McCain

First?  Get real!  It's always been

Ed Harris First!"

"I'm Hispanic, you're Hispanic, we're all Hispanic!"

Local Band 'Really Enjoying' 5th Annual 

Budget Buster Summer Tour

"Tell them, Poppy, that you don't like Ross

Perot and that Juan Williams doesn't like

Michelle Malkin."

"Whoopee!  Now I can buy some new teeth!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #76

And as they were conferring, the President took bread, 

and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the lawmakers, 

and said, "Take, eat; this is from Subway."

"Remember, ladies:  here in Michigan, we only say 

'Naughty Bits'."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #393

Mike Callton

"Hmmm, Mitt Romney must be speaking today in our 

nation's shrine to journalism."

Cougars Again Prowl Midwest

In a radio interview Thursday, Governor Rick

 Scott said he was forced to cast a provisional ballot

 in 2006 because election officials thought he was 

undead.

Sheldon Adelson to Bid $100,000,000 

During 2012 Presidential Auction

"It'll take time, Mr. President, but you'll

find that being Assassin-in-Chief is more

fun than playing Wolfenstein 3D."

After the Citizens United decision,  the word 'election'

fell out of favor and was replaced by 'private auction'.

"Yes, this is the last week to save up to 50% on great 

deals for Dads and Grads. Better buy now before I 

change my mind."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #148

Amy Kremer and Tom Whitmore

Not a Very Nice Right-Wing Twit

Why do we always seem to be living in either Pre-War 

America, War America, or Post-War America?

Alabama Republican Flees Solar System to Pursue Milky Way

Galaxy Sperm Donation ‘Obsession’

Mitt Romney Submits 'RMoney', Wins 

Anagram Contest Hands Down

It's always difficult to tell when Representative Louie

 Gohmert (R-TX) is having a seizure and when he isn't.

"These 'National Security Leaks' have got to stop!  

There's only so much truth America can handle 

before it emerges from its cocoon and morphs into 

another changeless and hopeless Europe."

"Did you hear that talking to yourself makes you smarter?"

"Yes, that's obviously why I'm smarter than you are."

Latest Jeb Bush Drone Attack on Right-Wing

Republican Strongholds Wipes Out Dozens, 

Maybe Scores, Perhaps Even Hundreds

Those who know George Zimmerman best say that Shellie,

his wife, is even meaner than he is.

Jim Cramer is apparently one of those middle-aged men who

 believes hair at the bottom of the head distracts attention 

from its absence on the top.  Sorry, Jim, but it only makes 

your nob look even nuder and reminds us of the old 

adage, "Hair today, gone tomorrow."

"Are you experienced, sir?  Not necessarily stoned, but

beautiful."

Morte Gras

"What did you say they call this climbing wall?"

"Dick Cheney."

If you hope to be zombie-proof, you must follow the example

of Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) and be brains-free.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus didn't 

come to Earth as a billionaire, like Dr. Evil?

Of Chris Christie, it hath been said,  "He doesn't let 

grass grow under his feet:  it's too shady there."

Uncle Sam's Uncle

Local Villain Faces Felony Charge

 After Causing Four-Car Crash

"Tell me again:  are we about to go over a 'fiscal cliff' or

a 'physical cliff'?"

If Mitt Romney were a spy, he would be a Triple Agent:  

for his side, for our side, and for their side.  And he

would be disloyal to all three.

If Pigs Could Fly

If Pigs Could Talk

It's easy to spot a 21st-Century Whig.

John Sununu Sez:  "Who needs more teachers?  Look

what they did to me!"