Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Potrzebie Prize #16
Gold Throne Awarded to Mitt Romney for
Winning the CPAC 2012 Straw Poll
One of the Corollaries to the Theory of Intelligent Design
Confederate Bag Lady
When Andrew Breitbart enters a liquor store and tells the
clerk, "Gimme a pint of rosie with a skirt!" the clerk knows
 that means to take a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and put it in
a paper bag, because Andrew is ready to rage.
"I don't want to be a pundit!  I just want to rage against
the dying of the Right!"
In his heart, Rick knew that God had put
him on this Earth with a two-fold mission:
 first, to decide what women should and
should not do, and, second, to determine
who's a Christian and who isn't.
And then the brethren laid their hands on
 The Boy Who Cried 'Guillotine!'
"When I say, 'We are all Catholics now!' I am merely
acknowledging a stubborn fact: after 469 years,
Martin Luther has lost and the Counter-Reformation
 has won."
"The fact that you enjoy being 'severely conservative' as
much as I do isn't just a a coincidence.  It's synchronicity!"
The Unexpurgated Bible #71
"Lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and
 Rick saw the Spirit of God descending like
a white-winged dove, and lighting upon him,
 cooeth, 'Who-cooks-for-you?'"
Recently-Declassified Photograph #27
The Republican Establishment

Friday, February 10, 2012

Sarah Palin PAC Fundraising Craters
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #61
Rats!  It's Willard Again!
"Wanna see what happens when I go 'severely conservative'
 on this napping neonate?"
The Unexpurgated Bible #70
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
and have not the Fist of Charity, I am become as
sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."
The 'Catholic Sex Ethic' is the same as the 'Protestant
Work Ethic', except that you're naked and working the
graveyard shift for less than the minimum wage.
When Mike Huckabee, the Southern Baptist preacher,
declaimed at CPAC, "We are all Catholics now!" it was
obvious the Protestant Reformation had finally ended---
not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The Unexpurgated Bible #69
"And when she had cried unto CPAC with a loud voice, 
Coulter said, 'Father Reagan, into thy hands I commend
my spirit': and having said thus, she gave up the ghost."
I Remember Dubya #51
Sister Coulter Makes the Sign of Dubya at CPAC
"No, I'm NOT a Vegas blackjack dealer!  I'm Al Cardenas,
chairman of the American Conservative Union.  Next question!"
"Happy Meals?  As you can plainly see, we Santorums
don't believe in them!"
"Mr. Santorum, the Amazons are here to discuss
'emotional issues' with you."
The Politico Illustrated #21
'At CPAC, Mitt Romney throws red meat'
Sorry, but these dogs won't hunt.
Sign of the Times #18
Sweet Deals on Select Items
Daredevil Leaping Across GOP 'Enthusiasm Gap'
Warm Scuzzies #259
U. S. Conference of Catholic Bishops
Big Hit at CPAC Dog and Pony Show
Russians Confirm They've Reached the Republican Party's
Utopia, Buried Two Miles Beneath Antarctic Ice
Fool on the Hill Enthusing Over a 'Shining City on a Hill'
Grand Moff Tarkin Sez:  "When she says
'nobody loves a Death Star', Peggy Noonan
doesn't know what she's talking about."
Following David Gregory's advice, Mitt Romney ripped
the other guy's face off.
Unfortunately, it is possible to have two royal pains in the ass.
Rude Rhymes #57

"I Promise!"

Cal Thomas
Santorum Still Holding Himself Hostage After Latest
Republican Primary
"But I'm the other white meat!"

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Remember They Live? It's the movie
 where a right-wing drifter discovers a
pair of sunglasses that allows him to see
that liberal aliens have taken over the
 Earth and are making pro-Obama
Chrysler commercials with
Clint Eastwood.
'Liberal Thugs' About to Make Senator McConnell Cry
Speaker Boehner still hadn't fully
recovered from the blow he suffered
when his Tea Party opponent in the
upcoming primary called him a
Mimi Alford Sez:  "Yes, as a White House intern, I lost my
virginity to JFK and enjoyed every sordid minute of it!"
Things to Watch for at CPAC
"Yes, I'm Governor Kasich's 'hot wife'.  So glad to meet you!"
Sweet Meteor of Death
President Obama Unveils 'Marshmallow Cannon', His
Secret Weapon for Defeating 'Wascal Wepublicans' in 2012
Ann Coulter Kidnapped by RINO Team Six, Taken to
 Offshore Medical Facility, and Forced to Undergo
Gruesome Surgical Procedure Called 'De-Trucknutsing'
“So when caribou want to go on a date, they invite
 each other to head over to the oil pipeline.  And
that's when things really start to heat up.”
Hamburger Holy Family