The Potrzebie Prize #16

Gold Throne Awarded to Mitt Romney for

Winning the CPAC 2012 Straw Poll

One of the Corollaries to the Theory of Intelligent Design

Confederate Bag Lady

When Andrew Breitbart enters a liquor store and tells the

clerk, "Gimme a pint of rosie with a skirt!" the clerk knows

 that means to take a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and put it in

a paper bag, because Andrew is ready to rage.

"I don't want to be a pundit!  I just want to rage against

the dying of the Right!"

In his heart, Rick knew that God had put

him on this Earth with a two-fold mission:

 first, to decide what women should and

should not do, and, second, to determine

who's a Christian and who isn't.

And then the brethren laid their hands on

 The Boy Who Cried 'Guillotine!'

"When I say, 'We are all Catholics now!' I am merely

acknowledging a stubborn fact: after 469 years,

Martin Luther has lost and the Counter-Reformation

 has won."

"The fact that you enjoy being 'severely conservative' as

much as I do isn't just a a coincidence.  It's synchronicity!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #71

"Lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and

 Rick saw the Spirit of God descending like

a white-winged dove, and lighting upon him,

 cooeth, 'Who-cooks-for-you?'"

Recently-Declassified Photograph #27

The Republican Establishment

Sarah Palin PAC Fundraising Craters

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #61

Rats!  It's Willard Again!

"Wanna see what happens when I go 'severely conservative'

 on this napping neonate?"

The Unexpurgated Bible #70

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,

and have not the Fist of Charity, I am become as

sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."

The 'Catholic Sex Ethic' is the same as the 'Protestant

Work Ethic', except that you're naked and working the

graveyard shift for less than the minimum wage.

When Mike Huckabee, the Southern Baptist preacher,

declaimed at CPAC, "We are all Catholics now!" it was

obvious the Protestant Reformation had finally ended---

not with a bang, but with a whimper.

The Unexpurgated Bible #69

"And when she had cried unto CPAC with a loud voice, 

Coulter said, 'Father Reagan, into thy hands I commend

my spirit': and having said thus, she gave up the ghost."

I Remember Dubya #51

Sister Coulter Makes the Sign of Dubya at CPAC

"No, I'm NOT a Vegas blackjack dealer!  I'm Al Cardenas,

chairman of the American Conservative Union.  Next question!"

"Happy Meals?  As you can plainly see, we Santorums

don't believe in them!"

"Mr. Santorum, the Amazons are here to discuss

'emotional issues' with you."

The Politico Illustrated #21

'At CPAC, Mitt Romney throws red meat'

Sorry, but these dogs won't hunt.

Sign of the Times #18

Sweet Deals on Select Items

Daredevil Leaping Across GOP 'Enthusiasm Gap'

Warm Scuzzies #259

U. S. Conference of Catholic Bishops

Big Hit at CPAC Dog and Pony Show

Russians Confirm They've Reached the Republican Party's

Utopia, Buried Two Miles Beneath Antarctic Ice

Fool on the Hill Enthusing Over a 'Shining City on a Hill'

"Neener-Neener-Neener!"

Grand Moff Tarkin Sez:  "When she says

'nobody loves a Death Star', Peggy Noonan

doesn't know what she's talking about."

Following David Gregory's advice, Mitt Romney ripped

the other guy's face off.

Unfortunately, it is possible to have two royal pains in the ass.

Rude Rhymes #57

"I Promise!"

Cal Thomas

Santorum Still Holding Himself Hostage After Latest

Republican Primary

"But I'm the other white meat!"

Remember They Live? It's the movie

 where a right-wing drifter discovers a

pair of sunglasses that allows him to see

that liberal aliens have taken over the

 Earth and are making pro-Obama

Chrysler commercials with

Clint Eastwood.

'Liberal Thugs' About to Make Senator McConnell Cry

Speaker Boehner still hadn't fully

recovered from the blow he suffered

when his Tea Party opponent in the

upcoming primary called him a

'Socialist'.

Short-Termer

Mimi Alford Sez:  "Yes, as a White House intern, I lost my

virginity to JFK and enjoyed every sordid minute of it!"

Things to Watch for at CPAC

"Yes, I'm Governor Kasich's 'hot wife'.  So glad to meet you!"

Sweet Meteor of Death

President Obama Unveils 'Marshmallow Cannon', His

Secret Weapon for Defeating 'Wascal Wepublicans' in 2012

Ann Coulter Kidnapped by RINO Team Six, Taken to

 Offshore Medical Facility, and Forced to Undergo

Gruesome Surgical Procedure Called 'De-Trucknutsing'

“So when caribou want to go on a date, they invite

 each other to head over to the oil pipeline.  And

that's when things really start to heat up.”

Hamburger Holy Family