The Governor of Mississippi has declined to walk through one of the new full-body imaging machines in order to test his oft-repeated claim that he keeps all the skinny parts of his body hidden on the inside of his suit.
If you're old enough, you may recall your mother or grandmother going out into the chicken yard, using a wire hook to snag a young fryer, and then wringing its head off. Remember how the poor thing flopped around pitifully until it finally expired?
If so, you're probably familiar with the expression,
'chicken with its head cut off', which aptly describes
If you are among the one-third of credit card users who do not carry a balance from month to month, you are considered a 'Deadbeat Paying Customer' by the industry. On the other hand, if you max out your cards, make minimum monthly payments, occasionally exceed your credit limit, and miss a monthly payment every now and then, you are a 'Lifetime Preferred Customer'.
In 1995, when the Speaker of the House led the effort to shut down the federal government, Nancy Pelosi could have justifiably said of Newt Gingrich: "I think this is the most despicable, dishonest and vicious political effort I've seen in my lifetime. He is a trivial politician, viciously using partisanship for the narrowest of purposes, and he dishonors the Congress by his behavior." But she, unlike Newt Gingrich, was too classy to say something like that.
If you believe that "God moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform," what wonder do you suppose He had in mind when Robert Mugabe took the oath of office for his umpteenth term as the High Muckety-Muck of Zimbabwe?
"I'm way too big to just be the leader of a political party, like the GOP. No, my friends, you must remember that I'm Hellboar Von Porkulus, Plenipotentiary of the Pig People and Other White Meatheads!"
"Sorry, folks, the Mission Accomplished Show for today has been called off due to lack of interest, ha! ha! ha! Instead, I'm standing in front of the U. S. S. Ronald Reagan to remind you it costs $250,000 a day to keep this carrier in service while it's docked here in San Diego. And that's chump change compared to the $2.5 million a day it takes to keep it afloat while at sea. Is anybody here in the mood for a Tea Party to protest excessive government spending and fiscal irresponsibility? I didn't think so. Like me, you understand that without the Military-Industrial Complex, our economy would go, as they say, 'belly up like a sea otter', ha! ha! ha!"