"I asked him why he was all dressed up and he told me he 

was headed to the Big G show tonight at the House of Blues."

Count Chocola Hungry for

RINO Blood

Florida Man Disappears into Sinkhole, 

Texas Man Disappears into Stinkhole

President Obama Latest Casualty in Geek War;

Says 'Jedi Mind Meld', Admits He Should Have

Said 'Vulcan Patty Melt'

"I wasn't paid $389,000 to write propaganda pieces for the 

Malaysian government.  That was my stunt double."

 "I will now sing the first stanza of 'Negaraku', the 

Malaysian national anthem, first in Malay, then in

 English.

'Tanah tumpahnya darahku

Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju

Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurniakan

Raja kita selamat bertakhta.'

'Native land

People living united and progressive

God-given blessings of happiness

Our King reigns.'

This has been a fairly standard PR operation.

Thank you."

Yes, it's Year One, A.B., and he's

still there.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #477

Harry C. Alford

If the Chinese insist on televising executions, 

can't they come up with something a bit 

more exciting than death by lethal injection?

Remember:  tomorrow is the National Day of 

Unplugging.

Was it a mask, or was it Rubinesque?

"Look at it this way.  If your

father had been sequestrated,

you wouldn't be here today."

"Gene Sperling's email was code for 'You better watch 

out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling 

you why'."

"We're popeless, Ross, absolutely popeless!"

Scientists Link Brains of

Two Rats

What Bob Woodward Said Gene Sperling

Said:  "They're not happy at all. It was said

 very clearly, you will regret doing this."

What Gene Sperling Actually Said:

"I do truly believe you should rethink 

your comment about saying that POTUS 

asking for revenues is moving the goal 

post. I know you may not believe this, 

but as a friend, I think you will regret 

staking out that claim."  Moral of

Story:  If you receive a friend request

from Bob Woodward on Facebook,

ignore it.

Warm Scuzzies #373

Oklahoma City Community Foundation

Okie from Muskogee Embraces Member 

of Liberal Sleeper Cell

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #476

Tom Casperson

Sergey Brin Sez:  "Smartphones are emasculating, 

but the Google Glass will put hair on your chest."

[Sorry, ladies!]

Texas School Maintenance Worker Shot During

 Handgun Training Class; "We Were Assured

 Nothing Could Go Wrong," a School Spokes-

man Said

"Help, help!  Somebody, anybody!  

I can't shut my mouth!"

Rodin's 'Gee!  I Could've Had a V-8'

Sculpture Echoes Down Through 

the Ages

Not until he heard that Michele Bachmann thought

he was 'pretty cool' did Michael Bublé give serious

thought to what Camus meant when he said, "The 

only serious philosophical problem is suicide."

Ronald Reagan Sez:  "Such fools these CPACers are!

Too bad they don't understand I was just a Hollywood

 actor whose eight years as President were nothing 

more than the role of a lifetime."

Rob Farago Sez:  "My gun gets longer and harder the 

more I stroke it."

[But it's still not that long and hard, is it?]

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #475

Mark Warden

Apparently, what Hello Kitty got on the 

12th Day of Catsmas wasn't catnip.

God Refuting Opponents of Intelligent Design

Jonah Goldberg Questions Secretary of State Kerry's

Claim That We Have a Right to Be Stupid;  "It's a 

Privilege for the Few, Not a Right for the Many!" 

He Avers Emphatically

What better to enjoy responsibly than

Bacon on the Rocks!

Would someone please explain why a Pistol

 Packin' Mama is so much sexier than an

AR-15 Packin' Mama?

"I understand, Ann, that once you discovered 'Budgie

Dancing', your interest in 'Mom Dancing' more or

less petered out."

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #78

Fat Tony:  the Dark Side Story

"Ahso!  The sequester will leave Pearl Harbor

unprotected---again.  Heh heh heh!"

When it comes to exercising your Second Amendment

right to keep and bear arms, you can't start too young.

Last Episode in Red Shoe Diaries

Said to Be Anti-Climactic

CPAC Source Cites Christie’s ‘Health Hazard 

Appraisal’ as Reason for Snub; "His Future

 Is Too Limited," Source Says

Warm Scuzzies #372

Franklin Glenn Sain

Drink Budweiser, the King of Watered-Down Beers

Yes, Walter Jones, Dick Cheney will be waiting for you 

in Hell.  Incidentally, he likes his Freedom Fries very 

well done.

Sign of the Times #46

When he was still alive, Marx's slogan

was 'Better Red Than Ted'.

"Hey, man, what's Michelle Malkin doin' to that lapdog?"

"Do you really want to know, bro?"

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #24

Daren Jonescu

Kim Jong-Un and Dennis Rodman Establish

Diplomatic Relations

"I look so pale because I spent the first half of my 

life living in one of Widmer's cheese cellars."

Nice-Girl Nipples

Bad-Girl Nipples

"God gave me the right to self-defense.  

My gun insures it."