Saturday, March 02, 2013

"I asked him why he was all dressed up and he told me he 
was headed to the Big G show tonight at the House of Blues."
Count Chocola Hungry for
RINO Blood
Florida Man Disappears into Sinkhole, 
Texas Man Disappears into Stinkhole
President Obama Latest Casualty in Geek War;
Says 'Jedi Mind Meld', Admits He Should Have
Said 'Vulcan Patty Melt'

Friday, March 01, 2013

"I wasn't paid $389,000 to write propaganda pieces for the 
Malaysian government.  That was my stunt double."
 "I will now sing the first stanza of 'Negaraku', the 
Malaysian national anthem, first in Malay, then in
 English.

'Tanah tumpahnya darahku
Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju
Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurniakan
Raja kita selamat bertakhta.'

'Native land
People living united and progressive
God-given blessings of happiness
Our King reigns.'

This has been a fairly standard PR operation.
Thank you."
Yes, it's Year One, A.B., and he's
still there.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #477
Harry C. Alford
If the Chinese insist on televising executions, 
can't they come up with something a bit 
more exciting than death by lethal injection?
Remember:  tomorrow is the National Day of 
Unplugging.
Was it a mask, or was it Rubinesque?
"Look at it this way.  If your
father had been sequestrated,
you wouldn't be here today."
"Gene Sperling's email was code for 'You better watch 
out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling 
you why'."
"We're popeless, Ross, absolutely popeless!"
Scientists Link Brains of
Two Rats

Thursday, February 28, 2013

What Bob Woodward Said Gene Sperling
Said:  "They're not happy at all. It was said
 very clearly, you will regret doing this."
What Gene Sperling Actually Said:
"I do truly believe you should rethink 
your comment about saying that POTUS 
asking for revenues is moving the goal 
post. I know you may not believe this, 
but as a friend, I think you will regret 
staking out that claim."  Moral of
Story:  If you receive a friend request
from Bob Woodward on Facebook,
ignore it.
Warm Scuzzies #373
Oklahoma City Community Foundation
Okie from Muskogee Embraces Member 
of Liberal Sleeper Cell
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #476
Tom Casperson
Sergey Brin Sez:  "Smartphones are emasculating, 
but the Google Glass will put hair on your chest."
[Sorry, ladies!]
Texas School Maintenance Worker Shot During
 Handgun Training Class; "We Were Assured
 Nothing Could Go Wrong," a School Spokes-
man Said

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"Help, help!  Somebody, anybody!  
I can't shut my mouth!"
Rodin's 'Gee!  I Could've Had a V-8'
Sculpture Echoes Down Through 
the Ages
Not until he heard that Michele Bachmann thought
he was 'pretty cool' did Michael Bubl√© give serious
thought to what Camus meant when he said, "The 
only serious philosophical problem is suicide."
Ronald Reagan Sez:  "Such fools these CPACers are!
Too bad they don't understand I was just a Hollywood
 actor whose eight years as President were nothing 
more than the role of a lifetime."
Rob Farago Sez:  "My gun gets longer and harder the 
more I stroke it."
[But it's still not that long and hard, is it?]
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #475
Mark Warden
Apparently, what Hello Kitty got on the 
12th Day of Catsmas wasn't catnip.
God Refuting Opponents of Intelligent Design
Jonah Goldberg Questions Secretary of State Kerry's
Claim That We Have a Right to Be Stupid;  "It's 
Privilege for the Few, Not a Right for the Many!" 
He Avers Emphatically
What better to enjoy responsibly than
Bacon on the Rocks!
Would someone please explain why Pistol
 Packin' Mama is so much sexier than an

AR-15 Packin' Mama?
"I understand, Ann, that once you discovered 'Budgie
Dancing', your interest in 'Mom Dancing' more or
less petered out."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #78
Fat Tony:  the Dark Side Story
"Ahso!  The sequester will leave Pearl Harbor
unprotected---again.  Heh heh heh!"
When it comes to exercising your Second Amendment
right to keep and bear arms, you can't start too young.
Last Episode in Red Shoe Diaries
Said to Be Anti-Climactic
CPAC Source Cites Christie’s ‘Health Hazard 
Appraisal’ as Reason for Snub; "His Future
 Is Too Limited," Source Says
Warm Scuzzies #372
Franklin Glenn Sain
Drink Budweiser, the King of Watered-Down Beers
Yes, Walter Jones, Dick Cheney will be waiting for you 
in Hell.  Incidentally, he likes his Freedom Fries very 
well done.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Sign of the Times #46
When he was still alive, Marx's slogan
was 'Better Red Than Ted'.
"Hey, man, what's Michelle Malkin doin' to that lapdog?"
"Do you really want to know, bro?"
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #24
Daren Jonescu
Kim Jong-Un and Dennis Rodman Establish
Diplomatic Relations
"I look so pale because I spent the first half of my 
life living in one of Widmer's cheese cellars."
Nice-Girl Nipples

Bad-Girl Nipples
"God gave me the right to self-defense.  
My gun insures it."