Thursday, May 23, 2019

Adventures in Aestheticism #186
Post-Mortem Trump Checking His Bone Spurs
In her latest snit, Kellyanne Conway claimed 
Nancy Pelosi is the 6th richest member of Congress. 
That's not true: Pelosi is the 30th richest member of 
Congress (net worth: $16 million). And, according 
to The Hill, "Conway is worth between $10 million and 
$39.3 million, according to her 2017 financial disclosure. 
She and her husband purchased a 15,000-square-foot 
mansion in Northwest Washington for nearly $8 million 
several months after she joined the administration."
"I believe in the rule of law so long as I'm the law."
Warm Scuzzies #869
Stephen Calk
C'mon, Kellyanne, everybody knows you're a
shoeshiner, not a maid.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Tory Humor
No Guitars, Just Vuvuzelas
Adventures in Aestheticism #185
Slip the Blood to Me Bud
Infrastructure Held Hostage
Day 1
The Infinite Blindfolded Typists Theorem 
states that hitting keys on a typewriter 
keyboard that can't be seen for an infinite 
amount of time will almost surely produce 
the complete works of William Shakespeare.
DressBarn Closes All 650 Stores, Just to Spite Trump
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #769
Bill Deagle
Maybe we should add incest and pedophilia to the
list of Trump's crimes.
Joe Biden Denies He's Ever Made a Cat Laugh
Oreo Gets Double Stuffed at HUD Hearing
And so Doug McLeod, a Mississippi GOPer,
punched his wife in the face.
And to think that, at $200,000 each, we could have 
purchased 7,850 Lamborghinis for $1.57 billion.  

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #768
J. Z. Knight
Isn't everything, including fascism?
Pete Hegseth holds degrees from Princeton and Harvard.  
As a Fox News personality and ultra-Trumpnik, Pete is
 doing his damndest to make these Ivy League schools
Profit-driven, advertiser-funded corporate media
know that more Americans care about the
vicissitudes of British royalty than they do
about climate change and mass extinctions.
It's time for Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats in the
House of Representatives to live up to their oath
of office by impeaching Donald John Trump.
One can only hope this is true.
Ah, the Global Geopolitics of Friendly Persuasion
"If Joseph built pyramids to store grain,
I can build pyramids to store Froot Loops,"
Carson rejoined.
Remember when, during the Obama Administration,
Republicans wanted to ban czars?

The Varmints Are Misbehaving
Adventures in Aestheticism #184
'Jay Sekulow Instructs Michael Cohen to Lie
 to Congress'

Monday, May 20, 2019

Fox News Personalities Diagnosed with 
Terminal Pachydermatitis
Words of Wisdom from the Fox News Host Who
Holds Degrees from Princeton and Harvard
All God's Gators Gotta Be Chillin'
Odds are this woman can't
afford an appliance garage.
Something tells you this Trumpnik is not
big on conscious emotions.
"He did the bash
He did the monster bash
The monster bash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the bash
It caught on in a flash
He did the bash
He did the monster bash."
Border Patrol Agent Matthew Bowen said:  
"Immigrants are disgusting subhuman shit 
unworthy of being kindling for a fire.” Sean 
Chapman, his attorney, added that Bowen's 
sentiments are “commonplace throughout the 
Border Patrol’s Tucson Sector” and “part of 
the agency’s culture.”
Nigel Farage Victim of Milkshaking-with-Extreme-Prejudice
Trump Threatens Iran with Annihilation If the Democrats 
Obtain His Tax Returns
The Day the Secretary of Energy Met Buffalo Bob
What the Fork?
The final season of Game of Thrones proved to be so 
controversial that it ignited what has now become 
America's longest and bloodiest Civil War.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Wanting a Lamborghini is usually considered a 
harmless wish, but needing one is characteristic
 of the Bull Goose Loony.
Petition to Remake The Mad King Hits 65 Million
You've heard of Foot-Long Hot Dogs, but
what about Bigfoot Tacos?
Jeff Koons' Rabbit Gets a Makeover
Steve Mnuchin Goldbricking at Fort Knox
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #767
Marji Ross