Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Little Rock, 1957

Dallas, 2014
"Take that, you dern half-pint refugee!"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #153
Black-and-White Is the New Orange
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #583
Stephen Steinlight

Monday, July 21, 2014

How Jesus Makes Selfie Toast
Is Obama using the shoot-down of Flight MH17 to
 distract us from the border crisis which he is using
 to distract us from the IRS scandal which he is using 
to distract us from Benghazi?  Or is it the other
way around?
Greedheads Galore #38
David Von Spreckelsen
Designed for Living. Engineered to Last 
The 2014 Dick Morris Mini Minor
1,000 Texas National Guardsmen Said to Be at a Disadvantage
in Asymmetric Warfare with Unarmed Children
Old Men with Guns #22
Mario Perez-Tano
When you think about the fate of Malaysian Airlines Flight
MH17, don't forget to remember the love affair between
Vladimir Putin and Steven Seagal.
Whiteworld #19
Heidi Thiess Authors Resolution to Keep League City,
Texas an Unaccompanied-Brown-Minor-Free Zone
I Remember Dubya #62
Joe Biden says Vladimir Putin has no soul.  Dubya dis-
agrees:  "I looked into Putin's eyes and saw his soul."
In De Spectaculis, Tertullian explains how Christians in 
Heaven will be entertained by watching the damned
 roast in Hell.  Here we see Jews being entertained
 by watching Israeli bombs being dropped on Gazans.  
Ah, humanity!
All You Need to Know About the 
Coming Kochtopus Apocalypse
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #174
Warner Todd Huston and Jonah Goldberg

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Fearguth's Law
"As Israel's war against the Palestinians grows longer, the 
probability of Benjamin Netanyahu resembling Adolf Hitler 
approaches 1."
American Schutzstaffel #42
Governor of Brownbackistan Forced to Hock Cufflinks
to Help Balance State Budget

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Little Known Fact #53
Rats, next in line to become the species which rules
the Earth, are now setting mantraps.
A new study reveals that the average shoe in America has
 gone up two whole sizes since the 1970s.  There's a reason
for that.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Bad Deal

Raw Deal

Real Deal
Vladimir Putin is such an ardent believer
in the Second Amendment that he helps
Russian separatists in the Ukraine to get 
their hands on surface-to-air missiles.
Has Darrell Issa gone rouge?
If Todd Akin didn't exist, the Democratic Party would 
have to invent him.
Renee Ellmers Sez:   "Men do tend to talk about things on a 
much higher level."
[Q: What does Renee Ellmers and a beer bottle have in common? 
A: They're both empty from the neck up.]

Thursday, July 17, 2014

"Next time, I'm wearing shoes!"
Psychiatrist Andrew Hodges Performing
 'Good Golly, Svengali!'
To tightly seal the Texas border with Mexico would require
a National Guardsman posted every three feet.  Since the
border is 1,255 miles long, 2,208,800 Guardsmen would be
required.  To loosely seal the border (i. e., a National
Guardsman posted every 300 feet), 22,088 Guardsmen
would be required.  There are currently 23,580 National
Guardsmen in Texas.  Go figure.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Ed Wood Sez:  "My son wears dresses, 
and that's OK with me."
Sheriff Paul Babeu is a rotten egghead.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #52
Adam Kwasman
Entire Population of Oracle, Arizona to Be Traded
for Busload of Honduran Asylum-Seekers
Dick Cheney International Monument Opens in Siberia
World's Worst Yobs #308
Sheldon Richman
A new poll shows that 37% of Mississippi Republicans
would back the Confederacy if there were another Civil
War.  While that may be surprising, it's even more sur-
prising that 63% either wouldn't or aren't sure.
Nautilus Exploration Vessel Studying Goldman Sachs
Vampire Squid in the Gulf of Mexico
New Texas License Plate to Make It Easier to Round Up 
Perry-Style Secessionists When President Obama 
Declares Martial Law