Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Internet Users Sue Google to Take Down Stomach-
Churning Photos of Max Mosley Playing S&M
Games with Five Prostitutes
Small Cars Become Even Smaller in Crash Tests
Beckel (bek-uhl) n.  A negligent discharge, accidental emission, 
or reckless release.  [Sleeping on your back and 
wearing loose clothing reduces the risk of having
a beckel.]
Israel Calls for 4-Hour Ceasefire as 15 Die in School, 
Says It Needs Time to Reload
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #586
Janet Porter
F Troop (1966)

F Troop (2014)

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Bill O'Reilly Sez:  "The reason Barack Obama is President 
for two terms is because of the machines."
[Where is John Connor when we need him?]
"Quite frankly, President Obama should be impeached
 for secretly wishing that he'll be impeached."
Governor Rick Perry to Bill Taxpayers Nation-
wide $12 Million a Month to Pay for His 
Deployment of 1,000 National Guardsmen
 on the Texas-Mexico Border
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #585
Peter Nathan Steinmetz
"If we want the narrator to tell our story from the perspective
of the Republican Party, we'll call it Bibi's Brain Comes to
Washington.  If we want the narrator to tell our story from 
the perspective of the Likud Party, we'll call it Bibi's Brain
Goes to Washington.  Do you have a preference?"

Monday, July 28, 2014

Wonder Woman Sez:  “I grew up castrating 
hogs on an Iowa farm, so when I come to 
Washington, I’ll know how to cut pork.  
Washington’s full of big spenders, and 
I'll make ‘em squeal.”
The Unexpurgated Bible #102
And then Jehovah God spake unto Adam, "Judging from
 the size of your tiny peen, you're going to need this."
Snorkeling in the New Sarah Palin Channel on
International Bog Day
Monkey Preening

David Cameron Preening
Michael Brutsch is back from the dead with this
employment want ad on Reddit:  “For hire: Senior Perl
 programmer looking for missionary position in the adult 
content industry.”
Max Mad He Doesn't Appear in Lucrative Movie Sequel
A Portrait of the Airhead as a
Young Stoner
Judy Woodruff Sez:  “When I think of grass I think of 
something to walk on, pot as something to put a plant in.”
[And when she doesn't think, Judy says things even dumber.]
Two-Minute Haters #41
Thane Rosenbaum
UN Becoming Anti-Emetic for Those Who Throw Up 
at the Sight of Lindsey Graham

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Angry Arachnid Goes Anarchic, Elmo Gets Tickled, 
Mickey and Minnie Gadabout and Gawk
Madeleine Albright Sez:  "The world is a mess and I'm
not feeling too good myself."
Michele Bachmann in a Clown Suit Leaning Against an
 Imaginary Car Being Frisked by an Invisible Policeman
“We need a little bit more time in the laboratories of 
democracy to see how horn-rimmed glasses affect
 crime, and young people, and the economy.”
"Here's the deal, Moshe:  you can ethnically cleanse Gaza,
 but only after you shave off that scrofulous beard." 
As Harry Truman might have said, "The only thing
 new in the world is the history that's been covered up."
Recent paleontological discoveries suggest that all dino-
saurs had feathers and that a true-to-life Godzilla would 
look more like a really big-ass Thanksgiving turkey.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

World's Worst Yoobs #145
Jodi Rudoren
"Holy cow pie, Batman!"
Cenk Uygur Sez:  "Sean Hannity is a big blockhead." 
[So does Lucy.]
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #54
Arthur C. Brooks
Inpeach Obama
Tippi Hedren as a Child

Friday, July 25, 2014

Representative Curt 'Quick Study' Clawson (R-FL)
Loves India on the Potomac
Solar Flare in 2012 Nearly Took America Back 
to the 18th Century
Prince George's Paternity Never in Doubt
Warm Scuzzies #488
Benny Johnson
World's Worst Yoobs #144
Betsy Rothstein
Warm Scuzzies #487
Jim Fouts
If thy gaze accidentally falleth upon the oleaginous visage 
of Rafael Edward Cruz, resist ye the temptation to pluck 
out thine eyes before sundown.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Dorks, Dweebs, and Doofuses #53
Paul Gosar
When you watch the Secretary of State call
 the military coup d'├ętat in Egypt "hard work
 in transitioning to a democracy," you can almost
 see the strings attached to John Kerry's lower jaw.
Tom Cruise, Operating Thetan XV
Oxymorons for Our Time #168
Involuntary Public Figure
Old Men with Guns #23
Tom Greer
Governor Brewer Sez:  "The inmate who gasped and snorted
for two hours before dying did not suffer.  I'm the one who
suffered!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #584
Jody Hice