Wednesday, January 28, 2015

American Family Association Uses Speedy Alka-Seltzer 
Cannon to Fire Bryan Fischer
The Original Palin® SaladShooter®
A new study has concluded that 'Trolls are sadists at
heart'.  Should we warn the children?
Yogi Bear

Yogi Almost Bare
The View from Andrew Sullivan's Window (2012)

The View from Andrew Sullivan's Window (2015)
Elementary School Students in Gustine, Texas, Forced
to Drop Trou for 'Poop Inspection'
Noted Palintheist Loses Faith
World's Worst Yobs #322
Sean Davis
Jesus has changed quite a bit since his first hiatus 
ten years ago.  Keep this in mind as you await his 
Third Coming.
"Nobody has asked me, but if they ever do, I'll tweet, 'What 
Florida needs right now  is more pot and less Scott!'"
"Fisties!  I can still make fisties!"
When she showed up in Saudi Arabia driving a 
Dark Knight Go-Kart, Michelle Obama really
pissed off Fox News.
"I am calling today for the carpet bombing of all Judicial
 Tyrants with copies of the Alabama Constitution!"
Tea Party Tartuffe Sez:  "Social Security for me, but
no food stamps for thee!"
Have you ever heard Reverend Robert Tilton fart in 
other tongues?  It's called 'Divine Wind'.
"Pull my finger, O Lord, pull my finger!"
Louie Gohmert Warns America about 'Terror Boobies' 
with Exploding Breast Implants

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Hillary Clinton has testified before Congress before
concerning Benghazi, but she has been called to 
testify again, this time while wearing the legendary
Black Beast of Benghazaaaaarggh! hat.
"There was such division among our Republican females 
that it sent the entirely wrong message.  They need to 'learn 
in silence with all subjection', as the Bible clearly teaches."
"Is there any truth to the story, Trey, that your friends
in high school called you 'Needlenose Ned'?"
Not since Ebola and ISIS had the Statue of Liberty come
so close to being totally submerged in hyperbole.
Jonathan Chait Just Moments After He Was Silenced
by the Language Police
Assuming money is speech and you spent $1 a word and 
spoke at the rate of one word a second,  it would take 
approximately 12.7 years of speaking to spend $1 billion.
That's what the Koch Machine will attempt to do during 
the 2016 presidential race.
Still Life with Seb Webber and
Mr. Cabrito
"I haven't trusted U.S. policy for over 90 years, 
and I'm only 88 years old!"
Dropkick Murphys Changing Name to
'Dropkick Walker'
Low-class One-Percenters live in Arkansas.  High-class
One-Percenters live in Connecticut.
'Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Emerges as
 the Republican Candidate to Fear Most'
Pulling Back the Curtain on The Dr. Oz Show
KFC double dog dares you to eat a Double Down Dog.
Miss Canada's 'national costume' for 
the Miss Universe beauty pageant was
created in strict compliance with the
Law of the Preponderance of the 
Means Over the End.

Monday, January 26, 2015

'NFL Now Says DeflateGate Was Probably 
Executed by Lone Wolf Ball Boy'
"Alas, those little starbursts Sarah Palin once projected 
through the TV screen that ricocheted around the room
 have proved to be swamp gas, ignus fatuus, mere 
Q: What do you call it when the Koch Machine 
spends $1 billion on a presidential election?
A: Total Hereditary Depravity.
When you see the headline, "Conservatives Throw Sarah 
Palin Under The Bus After Her 'Tragic' Speech," you 
realize conservatives don't know the difference between 
comedy and tragedy.
"King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia modernized his
country's military, he was a lifetime ally of the
United States, he supported scholarly research, and
he was a man of remarkable character and courage.
Sure, he didn't give a good goddam about women's
rights and migrant workers' rights,  he had
peaceful protesters imprisoned and bloggers
 flogged, and he had people tortured and 
beheaded.  But, what the hell!  He sat on a  
shitpile of O-I-L, and that's what matters."
Urethral syringes and rectal pumps found on Blackbeard's
ship, Queen Anne's Revenge, suggest it may have been
one of the CIA's 'black sites', where suspected terrorists
were subjected to 'enhanced interrogation techniques'.
Benjamin Netanyahu, Republican Governor of
Israel, Our 51st State, to Address U. S. House
of Representatives
Now Available in a 48-Oz. Family-Size Can!
"I await your answer. You have a full day to decide whether 
you wish to live in Libertarian Paradise or die."
If Barack Obama is half black and 
half white, which half is which?
Imagine the next President of the United States
talking like this:  "If you're gonna have some 
sausage, you've got to kill some pigs. And folks, 
there are a lot of people in America who want 
the sausage, they just don't want to kill any 
pigs. We need to do some pig killing, to get 
to the sausage."
Drone That Landed on White House Lawn Said
to Have Originated in NSA Hive
At the Iowa Freedom Forum, high-stakes Bingo was
very popular, despite the fact there were no winners,
only losers.
Not just balls get deflated at Texas Tech.
The word out of the Iowa Freedom Summit
is that Republicans are having their Sarah 
Palin tattoos removed right and left.
Yes, she knew all about Middle Bird Syndrome, but
she was always warmer and that was what was
most important.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

"Mr. President, we must not allow a Missile Silo 
Luxury Disaster Survival Condo gap!"