American Family Association Uses Speedy Alka-Seltzer 

Cannon to Fire Bryan Fischer

The Original Palin® SaladShooter®

A new study has concluded that 'Trolls are sadists at

heart'.  Should we warn the children?

Yogi Bear

Yogi Almost Bare

The View from Andrew Sullivan's Window (2012)

The View from Andrew Sullivan's Window (2015)

Elementary School Students in Gustine, Texas, Forced

to Drop Trou for 'Poop Inspection'

Noted Palintheist Loses Faith

World's Worst Yobs #322

Sean Davis

Jesus has changed quite a bit since his first hiatus 

ten years ago.  Keep this in mind as you await his 

Third Coming.

"Nobody has asked me, but if they ever do, I'll tweet, 'What 

Florida needs right now  is more pot and less Scott!'"

"Fisties!  I can still make fisties!"

When she showed up in Saudi Arabia driving a 

Dark Knight Go-Kart, Michelle Obama really

pissed off Fox News.

"I am calling today for the carpet bombing of all Judicial

 Tyrants with copies of the Alabama Constitution!"

Tea Party Tartuffe Sez:  "Social Security for me, but

no food stamps for thee!"

Have you ever heard Reverend Robert Tilton fart in 

other tongues?  It's called 'Divine Wind'.

"Pull my finger, O Lord, pull my finger!"

Louie Gohmert Warns America about 'Terror Boobies' 

with Exploding Breast Implants

Hillary Clinton has testified before Congress before

concerning Benghazi, but she has been called to 

testify again, this time while wearing the legendary

Black Beast of Benghazaaaaarggh! hat.

"There was such division among our Republican females 

that it sent the entirely wrong message.  They need to 'learn 

in silence with all subjection', as the Bible clearly teaches."

"Is there any truth to the story, Trey, that your friends

in high school called you 'Needlenose Ned'?"

Not since Ebola and ISIS had the Statue of Liberty come

so close to being totally submerged in hyperbole.

Jonathan Chait Just Moments After He Was Silenced

by the Language Police

Assuming money is speech and you spent $1 a word and 

spoke at the rate of one word a second,  it would take 

approximately 12.7 years of speaking to spend $1 billion.

That's what the Koch Machine will attempt to do during 

the 2016 presidential race.

Still Life with Seb Webber and

Mr. Cabrito

"I haven't trusted U.S. policy for over 90 years, 

and I'm only 88 years old!"

Dropkick Murphys Changing Name to

'Dropkick Walker'

Low-class One-Percenters live in Arkansas.  High-class

One-Percenters live in Connecticut.

'Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Emerges as

 the Republican Candidate to Fear Most'

Pulling Back the Curtain on The Dr. Oz Show

KFC double dog dares you to eat a Double Down Dog.

Miss Canada's 'national costume' for 

the Miss Universe beauty pageant was

created in strict compliance with the

Law of the Preponderance of the 

Means Over the End.

'NFL Now Says DeflateGate Was Probably 

Executed by Lone Wolf Ball Boy'

"Alas, those little starbursts Sarah Palin once projected 

through the TV screen that ricocheted around the room

 have proved to be swamp gas, ignus fatuus, mere 

will-'o-the-wisps."

Q: What do you call it when the Koch Machine 

spends $1 billion on a presidential election?

A: Total Hereditary Depravity.

When you see the headline, "Conservatives Throw Sarah 

Palin Under The Bus After Her 'Tragic' Speech," you 

realize conservatives don't know the difference between 

comedy and tragedy.

"King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia modernized his

country's military, he was a lifetime ally of the

United States, he supported scholarly research, and

he was a man of remarkable character and courage.

Sure, he didn't give a good goddam about women's

rights and migrant workers' rights,  he had

peaceful protesters imprisoned and bloggers

 flogged, and he had people tortured and 

beheaded.  But, what the hell!  He sat on a  

shitpile of O-I-L, and that's what matters."

Urethral syringes and rectal pumps found on Blackbeard's

ship, Queen Anne's Revenge, suggest it may have been

one of the CIA's 'black sites', where suspected terrorists

were subjected to 'enhanced interrogation techniques'.

Benjamin Netanyahu, Republican Governor of

Israel, Our 51st State, to Address U. S. House

of Representatives

Now Available in a 48-Oz. Family-Size Can!

"I await your answer. You have a full day to decide whether 

you wish to live in Libertarian Paradise or die."

If Barack Obama is half black and 

half white, which half is which?

Imagine the next President of the United States

talking like this:  "If you're gonna have some 

sausage, you've got to kill some pigs. And folks, 

there are a lot of people in America who want 

the sausage, they just don't want to kill any 

pigs. We need to do some pig killing, to get 

to the sausage."

Drone That Landed on White House Lawn Said

to Have Originated in NSA Hive

At the Iowa Freedom Forum, high-stakes Bingo was

very popular, despite the fact there were no winners,

only losers.

Not just balls get deflated at Texas Tech.

The word out of the Iowa Freedom Summit

is that Republicans are having their Sarah 

Palin tattoos removed right and left.

Yes, she knew all about Middle Bird Syndrome, but

she was always warmer and that was what was

most important.

"Mr. President, we must not allow a Missile Silo 

Luxury Disaster Survival Condo gap!"