Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Boss Gets Fired
The GOP: Now with 59% Less Candidates!
Cruella Da Vil Pulls Plug on Presidential Campaign,
Snarls, "You ... BEASTS! I'm not beaten yet!"
Although more Republicans voted in New Hampshire than
Democrats, Bernie Sanders got over 50,000 more votes
than Donald Trump.  And, excluding Trump, Bernie
got almost as many votes as the rest of the GOP
candidates combined.
The Unexpurgated Bible #128
And Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Rubio, come forth! 
Hey, Marco, come forth!  Hello, is anybody alive in there?"
Whiteworld #30
Only Maine has more White Zombies per
100,000 population than New Hampshire.
After ranting that 'stupid, snot-nosed, crude supporters 
of Bernie Sanders should have their jaws broken', Alex 
Jones was fed, watered, and put back into his straitjacket.
The Clinton campaign was roomy and well-accoutered, 
but there was some doubt it would ever take off.

Tuesday, February 09, 2016

"Other than Donald Trump, does anyone else call you
'Pussy in Boots'?"
Trumpelina Sez:  "Oh, puh-leeze, Ted Cruz!
I was only retweeting!"
"For shame! You're not allowed to say 'mangina' in a
presidential race and I never expect to hear that again!"
Which will end first:  the GOP primaries or Donald Trump's 
supply of vulgarities?
"Who says nobody likes Ted Cruz?"
Donald Trump Waterboards Ted Cruz Until He
Finally Confesses He's a Pussy
Victoria Coates is Ted Cruz's national security adviser. 
Being an art historian specializing in the Italian 
Renaissance, she recommends using scythed chariots, 
as designed by Leonardo da Vinci, to take out ISIS
 in the Middle East.
"Those aren't crow's feet in the corners of your eyes, 
Michele.  Those are vulture's toes."
Mr. the Toad, the Thinking Amphibian's Alternative
Your Mission, Mr. Phelps
Michele Fiore's beauty is only skin deep, but her 
insanity goes all the way to the bone.
World's Worst Yoobs #162
Amanda Carpenter
David Fry Doing His Ernest P. Worrell Impression
Sean Anderson Sez:  "Remember Hellboy?  Well, I'm
“Islamists have a plan to destroy Western Christendom
 by sending an invading army to sexually attack and 
rape and grope church ladies."
Someone who heard one of her paid speeches said, 
"Hillary Clinton sounded more like a Goldman Sachs 
managing director than Lloyd Blankfein does."
"Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,
Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,
Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,
Domo arigato, Marco Roboto."

Monday, February 08, 2016

Keep Motorboating Alive!
Beyoncé Attacking Police Officers at Super Bowl 50
Fidel Castro Still Undecided Which Cuban He Will
Endorse for the GOP Nomination
The Unexpurgated Bible #127
"And Jesus said unto Peter, 'O thou of little faith, this Flint
 water contains so much lead even you can walk on it'."
Remember Flat Stanley?  Well, after Chris Christie
sat on him in the last GOP debate, Rubio is now
Flat Marco.
The Rubio, Chris Christie's Favorite Sammich
Marco Rubio should have known an attack was coming
when he saw that Chris Christie was wearing
 Rugged Shark shoes.
Madeleine Albright Tells Bernie's Kids to Get Off
Hillary Clinton's Lawn
The Unexpurgated Bible #126
"The Lord God formed Adam of the dust of the ground, 
then He formed Donald Trump and Martin Shkreli of 
second-hand asswipes."
How to Kiss an Undertaker
"If Bill Clinton says I'm hermitically sealed off from
reality, he can just go to Hell!"
Gloria Stainem
Marcobot 2.0
Marcobot Malfunctions in GOP Debate
Gilded Puffbird Makes Surprise
Appearance at Super Bowl 50

Friday, February 05, 2016

Trump of God Trumps Trump
Rick Santorum's struggle to name one of Marco Rubio's
achievements shouldn't be blamed on faulty memory.
It's because there aren't any, unless you count 
brandishing a sword and making Jeb Bush blush.

Thursday, February 04, 2016

God created Martin Shkreli to make Ted Cruz look lovable.
Flag Desecration #90
"Lose the leash, buddy!  I was born to be wild!"
Who does Trump think he is---Orange Julius Caesar?
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #168
We Accept All Shekels, Drachmas, Denarii, 
and US Dollars
"Even Jimmy Carter likes me better than Ted!"
America's Largest Cross Begins Construction
 in Corpus Christi, Second Largest Cross 
Still Running for President