Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Whiteworld #22
Whoever coined the term, 'pasty-faced', must've had
Bill O'Reilly in mind.
Scientists Say Massive Half-Mile Crack in the Ground Proof 
That Earth Is on Verge of Going the Way of Krypton
Koch Brothers' Favorite Reptile
War Machine (aka Jon Koppenhaver) Thinking of
Changing Name to William Kristol II
Douglas McAuthur McCain:  Could an American ISIS
fighter have been named more ironically?

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Pardon me, sir, but do you consider yourself to 
be a 'sexual radical'?"
"Only when I dream about Mike Huckabee."
Warm Scuzzies #501
Justin Cosma

Monday, August 25, 2014

"Of course, my hair is exaggerated, like everything else
these days."
Have you noticed we haven't heard much out of John
Kasich, Governor of Ohio, lately?  There's a reason.
If eating whole foods makes you look like John Mackey,
wouldn't you rather subsist on a diet of Big Macs?
Sometimes a suspension bridge is just a suspension bridge.
And to think she had walked a mile for that camel!
If the president of NBC News is serious about wanting an 
'edgier' Meet the Press, Caius Veiovis says he's available.
Netanyahu's Approval Rating Nosedives, 
Arby's $10 Dollar Meat Mountain's Skyrockets
Campaign Buttons for Sale:  Cheap!
"On dry days, I trust the NSA.  On wet days, I don't.  It
hasn't been dry around these parts since 1952."
"In the tradition of Ice Road Truckers, the History 
Channel is proud to announce a new reality show: 
Ice Bucket Challengers!"
In all fairness to Jonathan Saenz, it's easy to understand why 
his wife left him for another woman:  he's conservative, he's
 Catholic, he's a lawyer.
"Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley!"
Do you have to be a beefy bullethead before
you can be hired as a cop in St. Louis?
If the knife-wielding man in St. Louis had stolen, like a 
bankster, $1 billion in energy drinks and then yelled, 
"Shoot me, kill me now!"  he would probably still be 
alive.  But he only stole two drinks and was a poor
African-American.
"The Obama Administration is feckless, unlike yours truly,
who has lots of fecks."

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Tina Morrison Sez:  "It was a good shooting, you know. 
It was a good kill."
[She's not really Darren Wilson, is she?]
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #154
According to Goodreads, this is what
Rick Perry is currently reading.
Rude Rhymes #81

Tacky Yakuza

Dinesh D'Souza
Ronda Bass Sez:  "Have y’all ever seen any ‘skanks’ 
around this school?   I don’t want to see anyone’s ass 
hanging out of their shorts.”
[Spot the skank in this picture.]
World's Worst Yoobs #147
Jeanine Pirro
Every time an unarmed black man is shot 
dead, a Missouri cop gets his wings.
World's Worst Yobs #312
Joe Cunningham
"Hell Exists, But Has No Gates," Scientists Say
 "We will not hide. We will no longer live in fear.  But we will 
wear dark sunglasses and refuse to identify ourselves."

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Hearting While Intoxicated T-Shirt
Selling Like Hotcakes
The Potrzebie Prize #23
Officer Matt Pappert Lauded for Knowing How to
Use Facebook to Put Down Rabid Dogs
Colorado Hunter Posing with 
Ancestor's Skull
Rich Lowry Sez:  "The next time I hear a Republican 
strategist or a Republican politician say that there are 
jobs that Americans won't do, that person should be 
shot, he should be hanged, he should be wrapped in 
a carpet and thrown in the Potomac River.  You know 
that's what they did to Rasputin, I think it was a 
different river. But let me tell you, it worked."
[What he thinks should be done to Democrats
who say the same thing is NSFW.]
Can Governor Perry bend steel in his bare hands?
There's one way to find out.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Two-Minute Haters #43
Dan Page
Pentagon Says No Evidence of ISIS 
Under Rick Perry's Bed
Rand Paul Looking for Indictment Opportunity 
to Get Back in the Running for the Republican 
Presidential Nomination, Says He Already Has
 a 'Great Mugshot'
Little Known Fact #55
Kevin Sorbo can entertain himself for up to an hour
with nothing more than a fly swatter.
"Stop calling me a 'Racist', dammit!  I'm a 'Self-Righteous
White Supremacist'!"
Warm Scuzzies #500
Kim Tihen

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Aromatherapy Gone Bad
Take This Pill for the 10 Things You Need to Know Today
"I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air."
"Why did you post racist images on your Facebook
page, Councilman Tinsley?"
"I was a very active Republican."
"Ya know, Bernie, if you shaved off your eyebrows, you
wouldn't have a single hair on your head."