Saturday, December 17, 2011

To make your hell-broth boil and bubble,
don't forget to add Eye of Newt.
Two-Minute Haters #23
David Caton
Why are many corporate CEOs, like Robert Niblock of
Lowe's, such morally dessicated creatures?
Warm Scuzzies #246
Amy Koch
"Can you feel the love tonight?
The peace the evening brings
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things."

The Politico Illustrated #17
'Newt just wants to have fun'
For embarrassing Texas and Texans in the
eyes of the world, Governor Perry is getting
 a $92,400-a-year raise.  No wonder two-
thirds of the American people think
politicians, like lobbyists, used car
 salesmen, and telemarketers, have
'low' or 'very low' ethical standards.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Raymond Davis, Ex-CIA Contractor and Firearms Instructor,
Charged with Felony; Will the CIA Ransom Him Again?
Warm Scuzzies #245
Greg Davis
Said the TSA agent to Mark Meckler, "Is that a Glock 27
in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
If he is such a great historian, why can't Newt Gingrich
remember when, as a lobbyist just two years ago, he
favored health-care legislation which included
an 'individual mandate'?
Factoid of the Hour #13
Minnesota Shoplifter Hides $6,500 Mink Coat in Her
Drawers, Is Arrested and Jailed, But Coat Isn't
Discovered Until Three Days Later
"Yeah, all I needed to land this baby was a remote
control unit I bought on eBay."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #131
Sheldon Adelson and Michael Milken
Greedheads Galore #19
David W. Nelms
Hitch's Last Stand
Having smashed the last pot, the Americans
decided to close their Baghdad Pottery Barn.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Question: Who said, "I must say again I have never seen an
uglier bus than a Canadian one”?

Answer: John McCain -- bus observer and international
authority on the aesthetics of mass transit design.
Denmark Imposes World's First Fat Tax,
Causing Butter Shortage in Nearby Norway
"Systemic discrimination against Latinos with
 practices that violate federal law and the
Constitution?"  Say it ain't so, Joe!
"He's from Georgia and claims a witch
turned him into a Newt!"
Victoria's Secret Revealed! 
Child Labor Utilized to Harvest
 Cotton Used in Making Panties
Rare Photo of the Very First Iowa GOP Caucuses,
 Held Sometime During the Paleocene Epoch
Oxymorons for Our Time #116
Conservative Soul
Newt Gingrich Sez:  "The GOP establishment is proving that
I, like a leper, am an outsider."
“I appreciate that 99 percent of you want to have an
intelligent discussion and won’t be drowned out by
the 1 percent.”
With that much smoke, Newt must be in there somewhere.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #4
Tony Keck
Grandpa Walnuts Mourning End of Iraq War
Herman Cain Sez:  "I want to be Secretary of Defense in
Toad Suck, Arkansas."
"We understand, Tom, that the Iraq War ended when
the military ran out of Friedman Units."
"Now, children, repeat after me:  'No more class warfare'."
The GOP 'Brain Trust'---Ross Douthat, Charles Krauthammer,
George Will, David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, David Frum,
Karl Rove, Michael Gerson, and National Review--- is
appalled at the prospect of Newt Gingrich winning the
GOP nomination for President.  Don't you just love it
when the chickens come home to roost?
Imaginary, Photoshopped Headline

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

World's Worst Yobs #233
Christian Schneider
CNN Talking Head Cracks Up During Report
on At-Home Sperm Bank
Puerto Rican Mayor's Family Celebrates
Rudolph's Last Christmas
Mitt Romney's Road to Victory
Attila the Hun Sez:  "Newt Gingrich is not conservative enough.
Only I am conservative enough!"
Move over, Joe Walsh!  Three women call
 Terrell Owens a 'Deadbeat Dad', not just one.
Warm Scuzzies #244
Richard Land
Newtrino:  a Subatomic Particle That Can Grift
Faster Than the Speed of Light
Newt's Best Friend
Little Known Fact #22
More doctors smoke camels than any other
even-toed ungulate.
Don't take any Wooden Nickels

Pantomime Horse

Pantomime Human
Christine O'Donnell Sez:  “Mitt Romney's been consistent
 since he changed his mind. .... He’s open to other viewpoints,
and if it doesn’t betray his core convictions, he’ll make the
necessary changes.”
Rick Perry Blames Total Body Freezes on Inertia Projector
Operated by Karl Rove