This Week Only at Akbar and Jeff's Tofu Hut:

Tofu Wrestling

Gatorade Drops Tiger, Full Throttle Blue Demon

Drops Tilikum

Warm Scuzzies #65

City of Colorado Springs

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #108

Documents show relatively few donors have loaded Gov.

Rick Perry's campaign 'Money Cannon'. To be exact, of the

$1.3 million raised in one day, $1.28 million (or 98%) was

donated by just 123 wealthy givers. These are what the

Governor calls his 'grassroots supporters'.

The Smoking Gunner

"One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small."

100% Pure Kentucky Extra Old Single Barrel Swill

Warm Scuzzies #64

David Paterson and David Johnson

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #136

Ray McBerry

Breathes There the Man with Soul So Dead

"Screw the Democratic and Republican parties!

I've decided to run for Congress on the Hair

Direct ticket!"

Pakistani potheads are different.

"Sieg Heil!"

"Heil Sieg!"

Arguing with idiots is bad enough, but idiots not

arguing with each other is even worse.

"Suck on this, American imperialist!"

Before Supreme Court Justices Looked Silly

After

Bad Pie, Bad Pie!

Breaking: Popeye Falls for Sarah Palin and Trig,

Dumps Olive Oyl, Abandons Swee'Pea

Thursday Romanian Transvestite Blogging

World's Worst Yobs #156

Ryan Sorba

Dead Tree Scrolls #2

"Isaiah the prophet saith, 'The thickets of the

Washington Post will be cut down with an

axe and Sally Quinn shall fall'."

"Sound-off!"
"1 - 2!"
"Sound-off!"
"3 - 4!"

"Sound-off!"

"1 - 2 --- 3 - 4!"

XPAC 2010 Flops; XXXPAC 2011

Sounds More Like It

Apple Notches 10 Billionth iTunes Sale

with Download of Johnny Cash

What's for lunch? In honor of the Health Care Summit,

how about an Enormous BLT?

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #43

Frank Gaffney and John Bolton

Angela Braly, Chairman and CEO of Wellpoint,

presides over a corporation which, in 2008,

awarded 39 executives over $1 million each

in compensation and spent $27 million on

'executive retreats'. Defending her company's

recent premium increases of up to 39%,

Ms. Braly insisted that she is on the side of

the consumer. So was Vlad the Impaler.

Drudgery Report #10

Having to explain over and over that Boehner

means 'boner' but isn't pronounced that way

would be drudgery.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #107

Warm Scuzzies #63

Anthem Blue Cross

Mark Steyn Aiming Thought Daggers

Straight at Your Heart

Meghan Stapleton, Top Palin Aide, Resigns to Spend

More Time with a 'Saint' and a 'Precious Miracle'

"You're such a pig!"

Whether the Governor of Nevada lies more

just before he gets on a plane or just after he

gets off is a question on which experts differ.

Steve King is a Razi. Razi is pronounced either

Rat-zee, Rot-zee, or Razz-ee, all of which aptly

describe this Republican representative from Iowa.

Brown Vote Draws Fuchsia Anger, Chartreuse Shrugs

"Yes, I'm King Stephen of England, grandson

of William the Conqueror. But I'm really too

moist right now to render an opinion as to

whether the future of the United States will

be homofascism or heterofascism."

"No, my child, I'm not a deviationist. I'm a robot."

"If you're not quitting and they're not quitting,

who, besides me, is quitting?"

Factoid of the Hour #9

Whereas the term 'Crop Circle' has been entered into

the Oxford English Dictionary, 'Chinese Paramilitary

Circle' hasn't.

"Holmes, why do you suppose Freud believed a

man tolerated, even liked, the smell of his own

assical gas?"

"Alimentary, my dear Watson!"

So relax. Take a load off. Have

another beer. You will have to buy

the book if you wish to live forever,

which is a bit of bad news. But

there's also a bit of good news:

you don't have to read it.

"Well, Dick, when the history books are written,

you will doubtlessly be remembered for setting a

new Guinness World Record as the meanest mofo

who ever survived five heart attacks."

"What a coincidence! I'm stark, staring mad, too!"

"So, just how long has it been, Dawn, since we last

had sex?"

"Fifteen years."

"That long, eh?"

"Yeah, Jim, and after 15 years

without sex, you die."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #42

Newt Gingrich and David Bossie

"Photoshop this!"