Distinguished Rooster Reputed to Possess World's

Largest Repertoire of Cock Jokes

At age 82, Hugh Hefner is the oldest man ever elected to be

the Mayor of Hooterville.

Work on Baghdad's Rumsfeld Memorial was slowed today

when U. S. rockets landed near the al-Sadr hospital,

wounding twenty people including women and children,

and incinerating or damaging eleven ambulances.

Secretary Gates Shellshocked by 'Bombs Bursting in Air' Necktie

Nearsighted Woman Reading Love Letter in the Sand

Thug the Pygmy Hippo was known far and wide for

his bright, beautiful, healthy, Colgate Smile.

Houston homebuilder Bob Perry bought the Texas Supreme

Court today, only to discover he already owned one.

Don Young Delivering His Famous 'Sometimes I

Feel Like a Coconut' Speech

Hunt for More Dungeons at 'Cheney's House of Horror'

Senators Clinton and McCain Join Forces to Oppose

Increase in Windfall Pandering Tax

"Yeah, I've been a big Taj Mahal fan for as

long as I can remember."

"Are you the Status Crow everybody is talking about?"

Drudgery Report #5
Styling Ann Althouse's hair would be drudgery.

Famous Blogger "Neither Ace Nor Spade," Research Shows

The Unexpurgated Bible #14

"And the LORD said unto Moses, 'Yet will I bring an eleventh

plague upon Egypt, a plague of pigeons. And they shall cover

the face of the earth, that one cannot be able to see the earth'."

This would be the last time the old man asked a policeman

for help crossing the street.

Stopped for speeding, the driver of the Straight Talk Express said

he was trying to put some distance between John McCain and the

most unpopular President in modern American history.

American Empire #21

Message Force Multiplier

Is it May Day, or is it a Laugh-In re-run?

Pope Benedict Follows His Bliss, Dreams of the Flying Nun

Fearguth the Good Ol' Elitist

Reds Painting the Town Red

Right before his eyes, his girlfriend was changing from

a Clintonomorph to a McCainomorph.

Have you ever tried to sell a 1524-lb. pumpkin?

It's a lot harder than it looks.

After his amphibious landing, Pugly established a beachhead.

"Happy Mission Accomplished Day, Condi!"

"Same to you, George!"

Jérôme Kerviel, Former Société Géneralé Trader, Rewarded

with New Computer Security Job for Pulling Off $7 Billion

Bank Heist; "The Weed of Crime Bears Tasty Fruit," He Says

Tony Scalia goes to Hell. The Devil makes him stand on
one leg in a pool of human excrement up to his neck.
"This is cruel and unusual punishment!" Tony screams.
"It's unconstitutional!" "On the contrary, Tony," the Devil
replies, "I'm not punishing you, I'm torturing you. When
it's time to punish you, I will make you stand on your head."

Brian Williams, Pinch-Nose Pentagon Tool

"Sooooo, you swing both ways, too, eh?"

What Hillary Thinks of People Who Take the Idea of a

'Gas-Tax Holiday' Seriously

"Lurita, you might tell the Committee how you had a

backache, took Doan's Pills, and now can't remember

a blasted thing."

Residents of Brownsville, Texas, Propose Simple,

One-Step Immigration Reform Plan:

Build a Wall Around Tom Tancredo

When Cerim heard talk of a 'gas-tax holiday', he shrugged
and said laconically, "BFD!"

Giving up his student deferment, Jeremiah Wright joined the

Marines. Two years later, he re-enlisted in the Navy, where he

served four more years. In the Navy, he was trained as a

cardiopulmonary technician (seen here in 1966 as part of

the team attending to a post-op President Johnson). But

Jeremiah's patriotism never quite equalled Dick Cheney's,

who never gave up his student deferment, because, he said,

"I had other priorities in the '60s than military service."

Hannah Montana

Holy Hannah Montana!

Why It's Called 'Grub'

New York Times Bestseller to Become Hollywood

Blockbuster, Glennzilla vs. the Whited Sepulchres

State Representative Douglas Bruce (R-Colo)

Calls Migrant Workers 'Illiterate Peasants',

Claims to Be a Feudal Lord

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Old soldiers never die. They just become Pentagon propagandists.

"If he's Sarko the Giant," Jacques reflected, "I must be

the Colossus of Chirac."

Gordon Brown's speech to the UN was so boring

he put himself to sleep.

Hamas Supporter Can't Sleep, Keeps Having

John McCain Nightmares

"Good gosharootie, I'm so dogged by campaign fatigue!"