Sonny Thomas, Ohio's Great White Dope

Sharknado

Sharknader

Boeing 787 Nightmareliner

"DOJ Official Leaks Info on Leak Guidelines"

"Mr. Geithner, why would anyone pay you $200,000

for making a single speech?  Are your jokes that

funny?"

Warm Scuzzies #410

Bob Filner

"Would everybody please stop torturing John Boehner's 

inexistent conscience?  Thank you so much for under-

standing its inexistence.

Harry Reid Sez:  "Is there anybody out there in 

America who thinks the Senate is functioning well?"

[Careful!  This may be a trick question.]

"Rand Paul Stands Behind the Southern Avenger"

"Jodie Laubenberg seems to be having 

another bad hair day." 

"Aren't you being a bit too kind?"

"Well, yes.  Quite honestly, her whole head 

seems to be out of whack."

Leaders of Ten Rural Colorado Counties Meet to Plan 

51st State Called 'North Moronica'

Greedheads Galore #32

David Koch

North Carolina House of Representatives Set to Vote on 

Bill Requiring Doctors Who Perform Abortions to Wear 

Motorcycle Helmets

For teaching a course one day a week at the 

City University of New York this fall, David

Petraeus will be paid $150,000.  Were he

paid what the average adjunct professor 

receives for teaching a three-hour course,

Petraeus would be paid $2,987.  Obviously,

when it comes to grifting, David Petraeus

has Sarah Palin beat hands down.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #143

Shoes Made by Peach Cobblers

Time to pop open a bottle of Shiner Kosmos

and get metaphysical.

Rand Paul Battle Flag

Backslappers with Dirty Faces #6

Bob Seitz

Warm Scuzzies #409

Gogebic Taconite

Rick Perry Trying to Remember the Third Reason He

Should Run for President in 2016

"So, when did it finally dawn on you that you really

aren't Clayton Moore?"

The Day Rick Perry Finally Came 

Out of the Closet

Warm Scuzzies #408

Bulletproof Securities

American Schutzstaffel #27

Even when George Zimmerman winks, 

it's in self-defense.

Judging from the way he embraces his wife these days,

Governor Perry not only is not running for re-election

in 2014, but also is not gunning for re-erection in 2013.

Warm Scuzzies #407

Judge Teresa Counts Burke

Rick Rubin's beard claims it does

most of the work.

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #139

Canada Free Press

Rick Perry Sez:  "From the moment of conception 

until the moment of birth, Texas is a place where we

 defend life."

[These Texas 'defenders', like Perry, cut and run 

after life begins ex utero.]

Rafael Cruz Expresses Desire to Go Mano a Mano

with Fidel Castro

"Dysfunction Junction, That's Our Function"

Governor Walker Signs Bill Requiring Transvaginal 

Ultrasounds on the Condition That He Gets to Watch

So what if Ted Cruz can sing 'Amazing Grace'

 to the tune of the theme song from 'Gilligan's

 Island'! Rand Paul can hum 'Das Feste Fundament' 

to the tune of the theme song from 'Fantasy Island'!

According to a new study, those who stimulate their brains 

have a rate of cognitive decline 15% slower than those

who don't.