Some say a beard is a sign of manliness. But it could

also be a sign of poverty (i. e., too poor to shave),

a sign of sloth (i. e., too lazy to shave), a sign of

incompetence (i. e., too uneducated to shave), a

sign of anal retentiveness (i. e., too possessive to

shave), a sign of maturity (i. e., too wise to shave),

or a sign of thriftiness (i. .e, too tight to shave).

So which is it, O Bearded Ones?

And the Bearded Ones replied: "We have no
better reason to grow a beard than does
Fearguth. And what might that be?"