The oscar (Astronotus ocellatus) is a large species of cichlid,

native to rivers in Venezuela. Here you see the smoked variety,

served at this year's Academy Awards ceremony.

Fred Hiatt is the editorial page editor of the

Washington Post. This means he has opinions on

everything under the sun and he expects everyone

to take them very seriously. When they don't, Fred

gets this mournful look, as you see here.

Ann Coulter As Seen by Her Friends

Ann Coulter As Seen by Her Enemies

"Iraqi and U.S. forces are making gradual but important

progress almost every day and we will remain steadfast

until our objectives are achieved. And now, please turn

in your hymnbook to page 18, and let us stand and sing,

'Be Not Dismayed Whate'er Betide'."

h In China, they implode buildings the old-fashioned way,

one brick at a time.

Texas radio personality Sam Allred's face was all red

after he referred to Barack Obama as a "clean darky."

In his old age, James Baker always got his index finger

and his middle finger mixed up.

"Hey, I was supposed to at least get a bounce out of this photo op!"

"Hi, Laura! Guess who's coming to dinner."

Scooter Libby Now Says He First Heard of His Conviction

on Four Out of Five Counts from Tim Russert

"What I see in the conviction of Scooter Libby is an affirmation

of Iraq, where things are going pretty well."

George Bush As Right-Wing Superhero, Uncle Slam

President Holding Flask Filled with Tar and Nicotine Trapped by

the Micronite Filter, Made with Asbestos

Even in the letterboxed version, Attorney General 
Alberto Gonzales still lacks depth, appears cropped, 
and seems 45% smaller than life.

When asked what he was doing at the Bunny Bar,
Sean Hannity claimed he was the casting director
 for a new Easter movie.

When you think of Lt. Gen. Kevin Kiley and Maj. Gen.

George Weightman, would it be OK not to support

these troops?

“I’m happy to learn that after you hear me, you’re going to

hear from Ann Coulter. That is a good thing. I think it’s

always very important to get the views of moderates,

especially at a conclave of right-wing fruitcakes like CPAC.”

Today's modern 'Pimped Out Throne' features such

amenities as a flat-screen TV, laptop computer, iPod,

speakers, TiVo, Xbox 360, a cycling exercise device and

a refrigerator filled with drinks and snacks. It is truly

fit for a constipated king.

This North Korean officer doesn't believe in the right to privacy.

You have been warned.

The U. S. military's new heat-beaming weapon can

bake a potato over 500 meters away.

Have you seen the new reality show on Fox, Let's Go Potty?

Mrs. Ed

University of Phoenix Shocked to Learn Its
 President, William J. Pepincello, Is Wax 
Dummy at Madame Tussauds

Dangerstein, Joe Lieberman's Hitman

No matter how hard they choked him,

the Brazilian soccer player kept singing

'The Sound of Music'.

"Governor Romney, would you say a 'faggot' is (a) a bundle

of sticks, (b) a cigarette, (c) a meatball, (d) a homosexual,

(e) John Edwards, or (f) all of the above?"

Biodiesel-Powered Turban

At the Conservative Political Action Conference,

Mike Huckabee of Arkansas bragged he was the first

governor in America with a concealed carry permit. "So

don't mess with me," he added. And--praise the Lord!--the

American people doubtlessly won't.

Bush Administration Watchdog Responsible for Keeping

an Eye on the Walter Reed Army Medical Center

Four Hosers of the Fuckupalypse

Mitt 'Flapjack' Romney

Newt 'Marryin' Man' Gingrich

John 'Suckup' McCain

Rudy 'Ground Zero' Giuliani

"You don't need to thumb a ride, Joe. All you need to do

is jump on my bandwagon and we'll roll through the Gates

of Expediency together."

Joe Klein lists thirteen attributes of a 'left-wing extremist'.

Then he writes, "This is a partial list, off the top of my head."

Perhaps this explains why the top of Joe's head is now missing.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Alexander McQueen Introduces New Line of

Body Armor for Iraqi Women Who Wear Burqas

Having overcome many hurdles, Gregory and Marcel

embraced each other as a sign of their undying love.

Prime Minister Prodi's yawn momentarily threatened

to inhale Italy's lower house of parliament.

Scan Jonah Goldberg's curriculum vitae and you'll

find no mention of his role in the movie, Dune.

When Ann Coulter made her appearance at

the Conservative Political Action Conference,

an observer was reminded of a line from Conrad:

"There's nothing more solemn on earth than the

dance of a trained dog."

Code Pinko Slows Pace and Crashes Gates

President Pimping Heckuva Job Energy Drink

to New Orleans Students

"The Al-Qaida strategy is based on the notion that they can

break the will of the American people. They know they can't

beat us in a stand-up fight. But they do believe ... that they can,

in fact, force us to change our policy if they just kill enough

Americans, create enough havoc out there. Well, they'll never

kill enough Americans or create enough havoc to break my will.

I'm not called 'Big Swinging Dick' for nothing!"

Al Sharpton's ancestors were slaves, owned by Strom
Thurmond's ancestors. It just goes to show what genealogical
research can (and cannot) do. It can reveal the truth about
your ancestry, but it cannot do anything to change it.

University of Minnesota Student Calling 911 to

Report Massive Dandruff Outbreak

Bible Salesman Woos Elderly Hurricane Katrina Survivor

Where a Wounded Soldier Lives in the

Walter Reed Army Medical Center

Where the Unwounded General in Charge Lives

"Congratulations, Senator!  Your announcement on the 
Late Show has just been added to the 'Top Ten Reasons 
to Go to Bed Early'."

UCLA law professor Stephen Bainbridge is alarmed that

"Private School Pinkos" infest the Hilltop Children's Center

in Seattle. With a total of 70 students enrolled, this private

elementary school obviously poses a threat to capitalism and the

free enterprise system so serious as to justify a college professor

taking time out from his teaching duties to write about it.