Thursday, September 24, 2009

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #91
Trey Garrison
Posted by Fearguth at 10:16 AM
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14 comments:

Destiny said...

Good Sir, certainly you have these numbers reversed.

12:56 PM
David said...

Only 91#? I know Trey, and believe me, he belongs in the top 5. With every person he meets for the first time, he puts a handgun and an American flag in front of them. If you reach for the gun, he shoots you with his own gun. If you reach for the flag, he stabs your hand with a fork. Apparently, the correct answer is to pull out your own gun and your own flag. He married the woman who also had a pocket copy of the Constitution. Also, that photo is outdated. He has warpaint permanently tattooed across his face. And he no longer wears clothes.

1:20 PM
Fearguth said...

The order in the House of Wackos is strictly numerical, as I discover them. My first encounter with Trey was a column he wrote for the Dallas Morning News.

2:03 PM
Bethany Anderson said...

Everything Destiny and David said is true.
He also powers his entire house by hamsters on wheels. When PETA found out, they tried to come out and protest, but he shot them all and stuffed them. They're now all over his fireplace mantle. He had the taxidermist stretch out one thumb on each one, so they could also be Christmas stocking holders.

2:08 PM
Fearguth said...

I neglected to thank everyone for their comments. Each of you seem to know more about Trey than I do. That's good.

2:57 PM
Trey said...

When I walk in a room, it's announced by the gonging sound of my brass balls clanging together.

Women swoon when I don the Speedo. They charge when I take it off.

I'm why the Hmong people now have a word for "We surrender."

I've eaten chupacabras. Mexico's lousy with them.

That scar on Chuck Norris' forehead? Yeah, all me.

I can steal your soul with my mind.

3:40 PM
Fearguth said...

Welcome, Trey! Stick around and react with abandon.

3:46 PM
Trey said...

No reacting.

Strike first, strike hard, no mercy. Cobra Kai!

4:18 PM
Fearguth said...

Great snakes, Trey! Keep feeding my insatiable Sitemeter!

5:18 PM
TDayTX said...

They say when Trey blinks the atmosphere burns. Lucky for us, he's never blinked.

5:37 PM
TDayTX said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
5:39 PM
Vines and Cattle said...

A typical Saturday evening in my house involves me reading his DMN columns aloud to my breathless and undulating wife.

5:51 PM
Lanz said...

Trey needs to be *much* higher on this list. Where's the LOVE, man?

8:42 PM
Hood said...

Note how pretty he is in that photo; it was taken after his recent goat placenta treatment in Berne.

6:30 AM

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