Geologists Disagree as to Which Is Older:

John Dingell or the Layer of Coconino 

Sandstone in the Grand Canyon

Believe it or not, this man swears his real name is 

'Faris Fink' and that he starred as Dr. Spock in a 2010

$50,000 IRS parody of Star Trek.  Whoever first uttered

 the words, "Truth is stranger than fiction," was a genius.

Unfortunately, it didn't rain on this anti-gay parade

in Georgia.

Camels Walk a Mile for Old Man

"Pssst!  Remember privacy?  That once existed

before a small group of Americans decided it 

would be fun---and profitable---to spy on 

everybody else.  So, mind your Ps & Qs,

if you know what I mean, and I know that

you do."

'Phone Spying Prevented Second Coming', Sources Say

"Jeepers,  I'm not offended at all!  People ask me all 

the time where I got these peepers."

"How do you do.  You must be a Redskin fan from DC."

Cross-country skiing in Sweden is one of the best ways

in the world to experience the great outdoors.

If you need a crane operator, 

do NOT hire Demolition Man!

She named it 'Spork', he named it 'Foon'.

Spot the Blitzerbot!

Java the Butt, Co-Author of the Patriot Act, Sez:

 "Seizing phone records of millions of innocent 

people is excessive and un-American." 

[He didn't just open the barn door that let

the horses out; he removed the hinges and

sold them for scrap.]

The average CEO in 2012 earned 354 times more than the 

average worker.  This is what is called a 'fact'.  Lucky for 

us, facts don't matter.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, James, but

I'm afraid you have contracted a terminal case

of the Clapper."

Only the Theory of Intelligent Design can explain the

physiognomy of the Sarcastic Fringehead fish.

Sorry, Mr. President, nobody is listening to your calls.

"President Obama on Friday defended the government’s 

collection of data on the phone records of millions 

of Americans, saying that it was a modest encroachment 

on privacy that is justified in order to protect us from 

the IRS and other terrorists."

Zuckerberg Releases Statement Calling PRISM 

Charges 'Outrageous'

Some say Senator Mitch McConnell 'sucks',  some say

he 'blows'.  In truth, he's ambisextrous and can do

both at the same time.