Tony Blair maintains to this day that

if George Bush had kept his head on straight,

everything in Iraq would have turned out to be a bed of pinwheels.

Terminator Bestows Hollywood Medal of Honor

on Man with No Name

In a rare, unguarded moment, Tony Blair's facial expression

revealed to the world his true opinion of George Bush.

If FDR Had Been George Bush

"You want frankness: I thought we would succeed quicker

than we did at Pearl Harbor. And I am disappointed by

the pace of success."

After a quick bit of sexy-sexy with Borat Obama, Andrea

Peyser, columnist for the New York Post, says she has

mixed feelings about the presidential possibilities of

the Senator from Kazakhstan.

"Can you believe it? We're on the first sheet of

Rupert Murdoch's roll of buttwipe."

The Harvester of Souls at Work in the Iraq Quagmire

Four-Day Sale at Albertsons!

Whole Croatians

Family Pack, Bone-In

Fresh, Never Frozen

Card Price: Only $4.99 Lb.

Carnivores Gone Wild

"The jury says it gave your client the death penalty because
your polka dot tie, striped shirt, and checkerboard coat hurt
 their eyes."

On his days off from the insane asylum,

Bruno Cirillo plays pro soccer.

Finalist in Red Carpet Jumping Competition

Buddhist Monks Crossing the Bridge to Oblivion

Japanese Cadets Accept Commander's Challenge to

"Walk a Mile in My Shoes!"

Said the Iraq Study Group: "Our ship of state has hit rough waters.

It must now chart a new way forward." So it struck one of the new

Skysails, saving thereby 15-20% on fuel costs.

Nursultan Nazarbayev, the President of Kazakhstan,

says just because Javier Solana has welcomed him as a

permanent resident of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum

doesn't mean he has given up his hunt for Borat the Defiler.

Why and how his ex-wife ended up in a shopping bag were

questions the former husband tried his best to ignore.

Sitting astride the Iraqi beeve, the little boy thought,

"Gee, the horns of this dilemma are the biggest I've

ever seen."

Mary Cheney to Bear Child Out of Wedlock;

Says Baby Will Be "a Bastard Just Like My Dad"

"Hey, this report is so short college students in the future

won't need to buy the Cliffs Notes version."

Alas, if bird flu doesn't get you, contaminated vegetables will.

What if wars could only be fought with pillows?

Judo Match Ends in a Draw When Contestants

Cry 'Uncle!' Simultaneously

Pommel King Unhorsed

Bony Maroni Starts to Shake, Rattle, and Roll

The hapless soldiers thought the Iraqi was just playing a game

when he yelled, "Go deep, for I am throwing the long bomb!"

"Keeping us up here in Washington eats away at families.

Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families.

That's what their forcing us to work five days a week says."

"Would you believe I read this Iraq Study Group Report faster

than I read My Pet Goat? And it doesn't even have any pictures."

"This looks like a job for Superman!"

The Iraq Study Group tried to bridge the gap between
appearance and reality

by motorcycle jumping,

by snowboarding,

by pole vaulting,

and by using drugs.

But nothing worked, so they decided to refer the problem to 
a team of Mongolian wrestlers.

Buster Martin, still employed full time at age 100, has
been chosen bythe U. S. Chamber of Commerce to be
the poster boy for its campaign to emancipate 
American workers from pension enslavement.

Jenna Bush: One More Inexistent Dubya M.D.

In a clumsy attempt at censorship, the Castro regime has

cropped this picture so that 'IN-' doesn't appear as part of

a sign displayed at this Islamofascist rally in Havana.

Doing its part to help stop the spread of bird flu,

this duck always covers its bill while sneezing.

Jacques Chirac has always liked M&Ms because

they melt in his mouth, not in his hand.

Inexplicably, the new Imelda Marcos line of fashion

accents does not include footwear.

“One of the things I would do if I were President would be to sit

the Shiites and the Sunnis down and say, ‘Stop the bullshit.’

And if they didn't, I'd say it again.”

Baker-Hamilton Commission to Recommend New Strategy

for Dealing with Looming Septuagenarian Shortage in Iraq

In an attempt to boost the approval rating for his

handling of the war in Iraq, President Bush has

reminded the American people for the 36th time

that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi remains dead.

Sepak Takraw: the game you get when soccer,

volleyball, and badminton are combined.

As expected, Borat was treated like royalty in Bulgaria.

"'Tis the last rose of summer,

Left blooming all alone,

All her lovely companions

Are faded and gone."

"Go ahead and shoot. I'm wearing my bulletproof

Diadora sweatshirt."