In a bold move designed to secure passage of his $700 billion

bailout plan for Wall Street, President Bush will appear on

nationwide television tonight wearing the same costume

he wore on May 1, 2003, the day America's mission in Iraq

was accomplished. Analysts for both broadcast and cable

networks are saying that the mere sight of his 'package'--

to say nothing of the persuasive arguments he will advance

in support of it--will guarantee quick approval by both the

House and the Senate, thereby assuring that the nation's

economic crisis may end in another five years, maybe ten,

maybe a hundred.