"I understand, President Washington, that you have

reached the conclusion it would be unwise to ever admit

Iowa, the 'American Heartland', into the Union."

"Yes, I strongly believe that to admit Iowa into the

 Union would be to establish an apostate and unnatural

connection with Romneyites, Paulites, Santorumites,

Gingrichites, Perryites, and Bachmannites. Such a

connection would be intrinsically precarious and

would entangle our peace and prosperity in the

 toils of the Spirit of Party and the disorders

and miseries of Religious Faction."