"You say, Senator Graham, that we're becoming Greece.

While that may be true, wouldn't it be worse, Senator, if

we were becoming South Carolina?"

"I've never slept with Tiger Woods, but I'm still a lot

more famous than all those nobodies who have."

"Hmmm, I'm seventy-one now. Judging by Senator McCain's

performance in tonight's debate, seventy-two must be the

age when Humpty Dumpty falls off the wall."