Michael Chertoff, Ex-Homeland Security Chief, 

Condemns Trump Actions

"Get lost, Lyin' Ted Cruz!  You're not squanchy

enough to be a member of my Squanchy Party!"

Following Paul Manafort's daughter's example, the Trump

 brothers, Donald Jr. and Eric, have decided to change their

 names to Hank and Dean Venture.

Thought to Be Very Popular on Cartoon Network

Scaramaniacs Overnight Sensation 

on Cartoon Network

"Face it, Anderson. Without makeup, you look like

Space Ghost."

Inspiration for Department of Justice Drone

Memo Found in Script of South Park

'Volcano' Episode

"Oh goody, they're showing those really creepy cartoons

 on Boomerang again!"

Bad Pie, Bad Pie!

"OK, OK, Chop Socky Chooks is funnier than

The Powerpuff Girls. Now can I please go

to the restroom!"

"Oops! We've landed Squidward Tentacles.

The kids are going to really be pissed.

Ignignokt and Err Check In to Mooninite Grief Counseling

Center After Cartoon Network Chief Sacked

For a moment, the President thought he had finally eluded

his relentless pursuers. But that’s when Augie Doggie and

Doggie Daddy ran onto the White House lawn and tripped

up the world’s most resolute opponent of Hanna Barbera,

the master terrorist thought to be hiding in a cave somewhere

in the Cartoon Network.

Instigators of Boston Pee Party to Star in

Dumberer and Dumberest: When Sean Met Peter

Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad Nabbed

Red-Handed in Boston Terror Attack