When President Bush is viewed under ultraviolet light,

you can see he has not just one pig head, but two.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims he is an adherent of

the Philosophy of the Open Hand. Don't believe it.

He's left-handed.

"If I may mix my avian metaphors, Mr. President, General

Pace and I agree you're a lame duck chickenhawk whose

goose is cooked."

"Do you believe in the divinity and authority of the Five Books

of Moses, the first five books of the Bible, known as the Torah?

I do, and that belief has turned me, Dennis Prager, into a

religious bigot. And it can do the same for you!"

Neoconservative historian Arthur Herman has proposed

that remaindered copies of his books be dropped on Iran

"until there is credible evidence of regime change in Tehran."

Vice President Looks Inward,

Sees Nothing

"I don't really care what people think. I just do my own thing.

I like being loud and letting people know I'm there.”

Ehud Olmert always laughed when he told the old joke about

the rabbi who performed circumcisions "just for the tips."

Dennis Prager Performing Torah! Torah! Torah!,

His Culture War Oratorio for Solo Voice and Accordion

First Dog Barney Disses President by Refusal to Salute

Dick Cheney During the Winter of His Discontent

"My parents made me start wearing this mask because

I kept chewing up the furniture. What about you?"

Booger, Kitty, and Mousie are the very picture of

domestic tranquillity.

They had to destroy the Basra police station

in order to save it.

Contrary to today's news reports, James Brown,

the Godfather of Soul, has not passed away. He

has merely got a brand new bag.

Is Koki Kameda crying because he is happy or sad?

Neither. He is crying because he suffers from a

disorder called 'Bad Haircut Lachrymosity'.

After an exhausting night delivering Christmas presents around

the world, Santa Claus collapsed on the beach. Just before he

closed his eyes for a well-deserved nap, he was heard to say:

"With enemies like Bill O'Reilly, thank God I have some friends

like the folks at Bildungblog."

Peter J. Akinola, the Nigerian cleric who is now the archbishop

of the breakaway conservative Episcopal churches in the

United States, explains to his subordinates how to pronounce

'archbishoprick'. "The accent, brethren, is on the 'ultima'.

In other words, the emphasis falls on the last syllable."

Sights for Sore Eyes #1

Six Homophobic Episcopal Priests

Sitting in a Row

What you see here is a scene from a remake, now underway

in Afghanistan, of The Fast and the Furious.