"When Ms. Coulter arrives, the first thing she'll do is

ask you to forget Andrew Stein, her ex-boyfriend. Say

that you have. Then she will tell you her father is now

in heaven with Joe McCarthy. Congratulate her for

having such a right-thinking old man. But when she

asks you to remove one of your purple gloves and

fondle her balls, don't do it. The last guy who did is

still wandering in the Empty Doom."