"Looking at me, you'll understand why it's a real shame Juan

 Ponce de León never discovered the fountain of youth."

Here's an idea:  tie Alan Simpson's and Lynne Cheney's tails

together and lock them in a dark room.  Sounds like fun!

"I always say to people, before you begin to drool at the 

mouth and go crazy and soil your Depend® Adustable

Underwear, read the damn report!"

Fire in Alan Simpson's Home Thought to Have Been 

Started by Grover Norquist

Alan Simpson:  a Gasbag as Big as

the State of Wyoming

"Road pizza?  I LOVE road pizza, especially

those thin-crust armadillos you find in the

middle of Texas highways!"

“If parents care at all about their children or grandchildren,

and sometimes I doubt that – I think, you know, grandchildren

now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents,

they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards

listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop

Dogg, and parents don’t like them.  I know I don't!”

As an adaptation for probing human carcasses, the head and

neck of the Simpson Vulture is mostly bare except for a thin

covering of down.

Have you ever wanted to draw a cartoon vulture?

If so, first you find a picture of Alan Simpson.

Then . . .

Alan, Son of Simp

Wyoming Gasbag Tells Joke about Cow

with 310 Million Tits, Laughs So Hard

He Develops Epigastric Hernia

"I'm almost 79 years old, Mr. President, and I have to

tell you that we oldtimers in Wyoming think that

Fancy Feast doesn't taste half bad."

Why Is Dick Cheney 'Old Snarly'?

Reason #3: His Friend Is Alan.