Local Trumpnik Blasts Biden for Heading Up 

'Competent, Reality-Based Government'

Lauren Boebert (aka Bride of Gazort) Sez:

“The church is supposed to direct government, not the opposite

 way. The Bible says that government rests on God’s shoulders.”

Headlines We Like to See #24

'Anti-Tax Zealot Grover Norquist Drowns in Bathtub'

Lauren Boebert Sez:  “The church is supposed to direct 

the government.”

Dan Crenshaw Sez:  "Conservatives generally have this

 healthy paranoia of government. That can — taken to an 

extreme, a healthy paranoia can turn into an unhealthy paranoia.”

"The federal government now says that employers added 

647,000 jobs in November, up from the 249,000 reported 

previously, and 510,000 in December, up from 199,000."

Kenneth Kelly, age 58, probably can't name the

three branches of government, either.

Imagine Texas as a giant flying saucer with 

Lieutenant-Governor Dan Patrick at the wheel.

Not to Be Confused with the

Bureau of Absolute Nothingness

As many have long suspected, a cat is in charge 

of the super secret Ministry of Disinfotainment

Trump Is Lobotomizing Our Government

When he saw Trump tweet, "There will be a 

government shutdown that will last for a

 very long time," it warmed the cockleburs

of Zhanik the Magnificent's heart.

Jeremy Bentham Sez: "Tyranny and anarchy are never

 far apart."

Trump is not all that concerned about

a U. S. government shutdown because

he knows the government of Russia 

will still be open.

Hey, Ted Cruz, it's been four years since you last shut

down the government. Now that Houston is underwater,

isn't it about time for you to do it again?

"Great snakes!" yelped SpongeBob and Patrick.

"Hi, I'm Government Mandate.  I may be scary, but

I'm not nearly as scary as Paul Ryan."

"Why are you holding up that copy of the Constitution,

Mr. Bundy?"

"I'm warding off BLM vampires."

Kurt Russell Sez: "I believe in limited Constitutional 

government, free market capitalism, and my 

obstreperous moustache."

Zaq Landsberg Declares Statehood, Has Plans for 

Saber-Rattling As Soon as He Can Afford One