Cat Embraces the Purpose-Driven Life

The Teleological Argument for the 

Existence of Republicans

Why are there so many Dysteleological Surds, like Matt Schaefer,

in the world?

The Infinite Blindfolded Typists Theorem 

states that hitting keys on a typewriter 

keyboard that can't be seen for an infinite 

amount of time will almost surely produce 

the complete works of William Shakespeare.

You had been on the verge of falling for the Theory of

Intelligent Design, but, luckily, you remembered that Ed

Klein exists.

Almost simultaneously, they came to the realization

that their purpose in life was to show it was possible

for Michael Douglas to become bored with Catherine

 Zeta-Jones and vice versa.

God Refuting Opponents of Intelligent Design

"Were I to summarize, students, what I've put up on the board,

I would simply say, 'Why?'."

One is made to wonder what God had in mind when

he designed the head of the mosquito.

Teleologist Trying to Decide Whether God or the 

 Republican Party Foreordained the 'Fiscal Cliff'

"It's just another one of those dysteleological surds 

we call a 'tragedy', you see.  Tragedies just happen, 

and nothing can be done about them, except to hope 

that we forget the last one before the next one occurs."

"Although I know it makes my wife and daughters sad for 

me to say this, I'll say it anyway:  even though I believe in 

Intelligent Design, I would still like to know why a man 

only has five fingers on each hand."