Mike Huckabee says Beyoncé is 'mental

poison' which the Obamas have failed to 

keep away from their daughters.  

By contrast, his own daughter's daily diet of 

Popcorn Squirrel is credited with keeping

 her 100% Beyoncé-free.

Randy Weber Sez:  "It was not my intention to trivialize

 the Holocaust nor to compare the President to Adolf 

Hitler.  It just slipped out, like a trouser cough."

This is obviously a fake Mohammed.  

The real Mohammed couldn't write 

in French. Everybody knows that.

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL 

NOISE MACHINE

Mr. Peppermint

Mr. Doublemint

"The drop in my approval rating to 39% has nothing to

do with my hugging that loser, Jerry Jones!"

Toy Kalashnikovs, like the one the child is holding, 

weren't very realistic-looking when this picture

was taken in 1880.

The next time you vacation in Birmingham, England,

don't forget to visit the Feline Historical Museum,

which houses the world's largest collection of 

Halal Kitty antiques.

"Leo and the Swan is a story and subject in art from 

Greek mythology in which the god Zeus, in the form 

of a swan, seduces Leo."

If you believe getting rich will make you tall, 

dark, and handsome, take a look at Rupert 

Murdoch and repent.

"I'm not positive, Bibi, but I think he said 'gatecrashing

is not kosher'."

Warm Scuzzies #526

Kirby DeLauter

George Zimmerman has been arrested so many 

times he has decided to publish his collected

mug shots as a coffee table book.

Romney Moves to Reassemble 2012 Campaign Apparatus 

for Third Presidential Bid

Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan was en route to Paris

for the French Solidarity March, when he took a wrong 

turn and ended up in the Mongol Empire of the 13th 

Century.

The Emerson Automatic Bunkum Dispenser

"Yes, I invented it.  I call it 'The

Incomprehensible Machine'."

"Bless your pointy little head.  Pass it on."

It's January, it's a New Year, it's time for

Jam Cruise!

Fearguth will be incommunicado until January 12.

"Chris Christie, eat your heart out!"

Chris Christie hugging Jerry Jones is like SARCASM, 

'the crudest and least interesting form of irony.'

King and Queen of All the Burgers in England Deny

Duke of York Ducked Back in the Alley with

Long Tall Sally

"Nietzsche was right," he thought:  'He who diverges 

from the majority and stands apart has always 

the whole herd against him'."

Given a choice between the mayor and donuts, the New

York City police will choose donuts every time.

Louie Gohmert Declares Candidacy for 

Speaker of the House of Fun

"Look, Mommy, I'm not eating the dog!"

American Schutzstaffel #47

This big, it's called a 'Hellapeenya!'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #607

Don Barrington

Dancin' Dinesh

Dancin' Dude Doin' D'Souza

House Majority Whip Stars in

Remake of Hollywood Classic

Yes, there is scientific evidence that

Arthur Godfrey died from lung

cancer and emphysema.

In the Palin household, it's a dog's life indeed.

Cheetahs could run faster if they didn't take time out 

to convert miles to kilometers.

Was William Mattson arrested for sexual assault or 

for being a zombie?  Opinions differ.

Metaphor Mixology #6

The suffocating din of a brewing race scandal 

set alarm bells ringing off the hook.

Police Chief's Gun Misfires in Bed, Wife Now in Critical

 Condition; "Never Before Was a Nocturnal Emission

So Deadly," Observer Says

"We understand, Senator Reid, that Senator McConnell

is still in the hospital."

Even though the Cat Nebula is over 3,000

 light-years from Earth, it seems much closer.

One small step for Trig.  One giant

leap for Palinkind.

Think of John Boehner as the GOP's nicotine addiction, 

and something like scales will fall from your eyes.

"Honey, are the kids ready to go to Bullets and Burgers?"

When Harry Met Jungle Gym

When Muffler Man Ruled the Earth

Grand Old Party Limo the House Majority Whip

Brought from Louisiana as His 'Work Car'

"Feed us, Mama

Feed us all night long!"

I Remember Dubya #66

Looking deep into Putin's soul, Dubya discovered a

 fellow admirer of Zippy the Pinhead.

Happy New Year to One and All!