Man in Stable Condition After Being

Presented with $44 Million Hospital Bill

Warm Scuzzies #254

Kip Smith

The next time you run into Rick Perry on the campaign trail,

you might ask him if the police were 'disdaining' Black

Sabbath when they arrested Ozzy Osbourne for pissing

on the Alamo while wearing a dress on February 19, 1982.

Factoid of the Hour #16

Jon Huntsman's endorsement of Mitt Romney weighs

 less than Aerogel, i. e., about 0.003 grams per cubic

centimeter.

Oxymorons for Our Time #119

Creative Destruction

Jon Huntsman Drops Out of Presidential Race

 Just in Time to Launch Wizard Reunion

Spring Tour

Referring to the Marines who had urinated on Afghani

corpses, Rick Perry said, "Obviously, 18-and-19-year-

old kids make stupid mistakes all too often. And that's

what's occurred here."  Yes, Governor, and were

18-and-19-year-old kids to vote for you, that would

be a 'stupid mistake', too.

Although he has popularized the pornstache, John Stossel

 did not invent it.

Ron Jeremy did.

Rude Rhymes #55

Gnawing Flesh

Dana Loesch

When you go to meet Jesus, don't forget to

wear your Ray-Bans.

Warm Scuzzies #253

Phil Martelli

"Remember, men:  pissboarding is not considered torture."

Wu Tang Clan Linked to Murder, Gun Running,

Execrable Music

This time when he prayed, the answer was,

"Be not deceived, Tim Tebow: 

God is not mocked."

Missouri Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Dave Spence

Says His Degree in 'Home Economics' Is a Degree in

'Economics'; Probably Also Believes 'Home Schooling' Is

the Same as 'Schooling'

Well, it's about time!  Fearguth is about to

embark on Jam Cruise.  As a consequence,

he will be taking a break from blogging,

returning online on January 15.

Rick Santorum and His Terrible Swift Sword

"Abortion should be an option for me,

but not for thee."

Poll Puts Perry at 5%, Fifth in South

Carolina; "He Doesn't Have a

Prayer," Observers Say

Representative Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) has been named

one of the 'Sultriest Members of Congress'.  'Sultry' is an

adjective meaning 'hot and humid'.  Synonyms of 'sultry'

include 'stuffy', 'muggy', and 'stifling'.