Republican Presidential Candidate Denies Ever Saying

"Yum, Yum, Eat'em Up!"

The salivating blogger believed the only way Sarah Palin
 could salvage John McCain's presidential campaign was
 to bare her breasts in the last scene, like Julie Andrews
 did in S. O. B.

Imagine that a gang of Identity Thieves came in overnight and stole

everything that Superman used to protect: Truth, Justice, and the

American Way. What would you call this gang?

The Bush Administration

For the sake of argument, let's assume Brigitte Bardot dies

and goes to Hell. Let's also assume her punishment is to

become Michelle Malkin, the Ugliest Woman in the World.

In terms of the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution,

wouldn't this be 'cruel and unsual punishment'?

Brigitte Bardot has declared that Sarah Palin is

"a disgrace to women." In tennis, this is what is

called 'Game, Set, Match'.

World's Worst Yoobs #25

Mary Katharine Ham

Silvio Berlusconi, the billionaire Prime Minister of Italy,

wants you to know how much he loves the smell of his

money in the morning.

John McCain is to Joe McCarthy as Sarah Palin is to 
Phyllis Schlafly.  They're all so 1950s-ish.

American International Group executives have agreed to be

shot at dawn, but only on the condition that they be given

manicures, facials, massages, and pedicures first.

After having the riot act read to him by Sarah Hussein Obama,

Barack's grandmother, Jerome Corsi was deported from Kenya

on the ground that he was 'impersonating an author'.

Stormtrooper at Florida Palin Rally Identified

as Mike Scott, Lee County Sheriff

Oppo Researcher for McCain Campaign Scraping

the Bottom of the Barrel

"Want to learn all you need to know about Keating Economics

in less time than it takes John McCain to count all his houses?

If so, click on Fearguth's link."

When asked how Sarah Palin got the nickname 'barracuda', one

of her classmates thought it had to do with "that little grin thing

she does. She sets her teeth. It looks like she's eating jerky.

Flashing some fang, you know."

"For me, the heels are on. For you, the hoods are off."

Got Palin?

Study Says One in Four Mammals Threatened with

Extinction, Especially Those That Still Believe in the

Easter Bunny and President Bush

Ahhh! To flutter, to float, to glide, to dangle, to sip:

that's the life of a true monarch.

For all of you who thought you were linking to Fearguth's

Facebook page, sorry. This is the Assbook page for a

couple of Chinese Crested Dogs.

"Sarah's so strong, she's so capable, she's so competent! And

with God's help, she will be elected Vice President of the

United States, the position God denied me because I was

so weak, so incapable, and so incompetent."

Palin Goes Nucular

Economists have discovered a new cause-effect relationship

on Wall Street. Every time Sarah Palin says 'Jeremiah Wright',

the stock market drops another 100 points.

If you want to see a return of Sarah Barracuda, ask the

Governor of Alaska why she cheated on her income tax.

Owning as many glass houses as he does, you would think

John McCain would be smart enough not to throw stones.

Remember when Cindy McCain said, "What you're going

to see is a great debate. Which is what the American public

deserves. None of this negative stuff, though. You won't see

it come out of our side at all"? Seems so long ago, doesn't it?

"The gentleman on my right is my brave brother, Joe. He's

agreed to campaign for me in Northern Virginia, ya know,

'Communist Country'."

Things Older Than John McCain #16

G. Gordon Liddy

Gilt by Association Facial Treatment Very Popular

with McCain Supporters

The Best Way to Get Around at a Sarah Palin Rally

If you attend a Sarah Palin rally, expect to get muddy.

On the left of this picture is Sarah Palin in the process

of blowing off Gwen Ifill. On the right of this picture is

Gwen Ifill after she was blown off.

Famous Author of Shaggy Dog Stories Admits He's No

Match for the Governor of Alaska

As he felt the cuffs tighten around his wrists, what troubled
O. J. the most was that the Law of Karma could obviously not
be broken and that he might have to someday share a prison
cell with that shoddy imitation of the Pillsbury Doughboy,

Karl Rove.

There is also a place in Hell reserved for vice-presidential

nominees who misquote what they providentially read on

Starbucks' coffee cups. It's called 'Brewed Awakening'.

Winker

Wanker

"Heckuva job, Hanky!"

John McGraw, 'Little Napoleon'

John McCain, 'Littler Napoleon'

Here's an easy way to see the difference between

'angry' and 'mad'.

Angry McCain

Mad McCain

Senior Republican Operative Says Fresh Batch of

Anti-Obama TV Ads in the Works

Humble tree frog says it can see further only because

it is sitting on the finger of a giant.

Have you noticed how John McCain only pals

around with Senators shorter than he is?

Senator John McCain and his Republican allies are readying a

newly aggressive campaign to prove to Americans, once and

for all, that he's a mean little fucker.

World's Worst Yobs #52

Brit Hume

Sarah Palin has been sleeping with a secessionist

for years and has five kids to prove it.

Palin Around with an Errorist

If you see little Starbursts coming through your computer

screen right now, it's a perfectly normal experience and

doesn't mean you are suffering from autoerotism,

like Rich Lowry.

The recent discovery of Palinese brings the total number of

languages in the world to 4,501.