Chris Wikoff Sez:  "I was in a bed. I can't move, 

I can't breathe.  I was afraid I was going to die."

Hunter Lowe, 26,  and Brandon Boone, 49, have been 

sent back to Louisiana for not showing proof of 

being homo sapiens.

Bad Spelling Has Consequences

Godzilla Doing His Tiny Tim Impression of Don Ho 

Singing 'Tiny Bubbles'

Your Lack of Faith Is Disturbing

Regime Change in Hawaii

Like the guy who set off the false incoming missile alarm

 in Hawaii, the driver of the snow crawler is refusing to

 cooperate.

Warm Scuzzies #715

Tulsi Gabbard

Rudy Giuliani Zombie Cup Says Trump ‘Believes Now’ That 

Obama Was Born in the U.S., But Not in the Lower 48

'Miley Cyrus Completely Topless in Maui!'

In a little over a week, Steven Tyler

will turn 65 and, thanks to the 

Hawaiian legislature, he will be

 able to walk around naked in his

Maui backyard without fear of a 

papparazo taking and then

publishing pictures of him that

 prove he now looks like a fairly

well-preserved old lady.

"Ahso!  The sequester will leave Pearl Harbor

unprotected---again.  Heh heh heh!"

Asked why he was moving his presidential campaign to

Hawaii, Newt Gingrich said it's because "the Aloha State

 has better beaches and Mai Tais."

Why is Robert Titcomb---who has been

arrested in Hawaii for soliciting sex from

an undercover officer---a close friend and

golfing buddy of Barack Obama and

you're not?

I Remember Dubya #47

"In the near future, people will often confuse me

with Barack Obama. That's understandable, since I

was born in New Haven, Connecticut, and he was

born in Hawaii, just off the coast of Midland, Texas,

where I developed my love for the Middle East."

Hawaii May Sell Obama's Birth Records for $100 Each, or

Buy Two, Get One Free 

"Come clean, Rush! I know you've had
your hand in the Oxycontin Jar!"

Rush Limbaugh Sharply Criticized by Kevin Madden for

Having Chest Pains in Same 'Foreign Place' Where

President Obama Vacations

Rush Limbaugh 'Resting Comfortably' at Honolulu Hospital,

Says Medication for Back Pain 'Really Swell'

Rush Limbaugh Taken to Honolulu Hospital After Acute

Attack of Adhesive Capsulitis (Frozen Shoulder Syndrome)