Trump Sez:  “The Old Crow’s a piece of shit.”

There's nothing quite like wetting your whistle at 45 Wine

and Whiskey, the new bar in Trump Tower named after

the world's most famous teetotaler.

"How many fingers of whiskey was that, Ms. Bartiromo?"

Follow the Whiskey!

"Hogan Gidley Urges ‘Woke’ Businesses to Hire Ex-Trump 

Staffers Because of Deep ‘Knowledge of How the 

Government Works’"

No, it is not true that Screwball Whiskey cures

COVID-19.  But, if you drink enough of it, 

you will think you're Mike Lindell and 

start hawking oleander extract.

When the White House spokesman said Trump was 'obviously 

kidding' when he referred to COVID-19 as 'Kung Flu', the

 119,000 Americans who have died from the disease laughed

 so hard they almost spilled their Mint Juleps.

Newton Leroy, Master of Gingrich Hall and the

oldest surviving member of Georgia's antebellum 

plantation aristocracy, says if he could generate 

enough energy to stand up, he would immunize himself

against the coronavirus with a glass of bourbon and

 branch water.

Straight Outta Baton Rouge

Trump Sez:  "I'm the one calling the shots around here."

Studies show the $1 difference between 

$19,999 and $20,000 has a considerable 

effect on sales with items whose prices end

 with 99 far outselling those ending with 00.

Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley Bags Another

 Wild Turkey

Official Libation of the

Trump Administration

"Hmm, biofuel made from pigshit and Jack

 Daniel's? I'll have to tell the boss about this 

when he's through talking trash to the Boy 

Scouts!"

When he heard that Mike Flynn was taking the Fifth,

Drinky Crow decided he would take one, too.

Contrary to popular belief, Benjamin Franklin

did not believe Wild Turkey should be the

national whiskey.

Mitch McConnell's Got a Brand New Bag

Fearguth's Rules of Order #62

Never try to hustle a chimp that drinks Jack Black. 

It's a waste of time.

"Home, Jameson!  I've always wanted to say that."

Truth in Advertising #6

Before Blackout there was

Hot Damn! I'm Smashed!