Why Mankind Invented the Idea of Hell

Have you been looking for a way to reduce the time you 

may have to spend in Purgatory?  Well, there's a way.  

All you have to do is follow Pope Francis on Twitter.

"But that would be worse than Purgatory!" you rejoin.

Yes, some situations are just Lose-Lose, and there's

not a damn thing you can do about it.

Choose your punishment:  die and join 72 virgins in Paradise,

or

live and spend 72 days married to Kim Kardashian.

"Remember, Johnny, bad little boys go to Nixonland."

When rightists, Reaganites, and Republicans go to Heaven,

they will undoubtedly be surprised when Jimmy Carter

greets them and welcomes them into his Habitat for the

Hereafter, where everyone will watch Jimmy Carter: Man

From Plains to all eternity.

Hard to believe, but it's true. Jimi Hendrix is

spending eternity in Electric Ladyland.

Instead of Heaven, God sent Jerry Falwell straight to Hell, Michigan.