Breaking News Mashups #13

"13 Bald Eagles Found Dead in Maryland from 'Sheen Effect'"

"Barry Satera Kenya, Ooga Booga!  

Barry Satera Kenya, Ooga Booga!"

[Charlie is speaking in tongues again.]

You were so thoughtful when you decided to Adopt-a-

Highway.  But why stop there?  Charlie Sheen, along

with Bill O'Reilly, urge you to reach toward

tomorrow and Adopt-a-Millionaire.

Adventures in Lexicology #5

Asheenist (a-sheen´-ist), n.  A goddess who no longer

believes in Charlie Sheen. [Natalie Kenley is now an

asheenist.]

This Week in Sex:  Charlie Sheen 'Smooches'

Jimmy Kimmel, Donald Trump 'Screws'

Muammar Gaddafi, Fossil of Giant

Playboy Bunny Found Off Coast

of Spain

Independent voters, like this young Arnold Schwarzenegger, 

say they would support Charlie Sheen over Sarah Palin for

President by a 41/36 margin.

Sheenian Mathematics

2.5 Men - 1 Man = 0

Tiger Discovers It Has 'Sheen Blood', Decides to Drown Itself

"Charlie Sheen is now making more sense than

 John Boehner," said Judson Phillips, as he

prepared to take his medication orally.

Sheen Forces Routed; Fierce Battle Continues for

Control of CBS Media Port

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I'm tired of

pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total frickin' rock star

from Mars. People can't figure me out, they can't process

me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a

normal brain."

Charlie Sheen Hospitalized with Hernia After Laughing Too

Hard at Ruptured Duck Joke

Mile-Long Charlie Sheen Spreads Near Disabled Tugboat

Charlie Lackluster