If he doesn't get the Democratic presidential nomination, 

Michael Bloomberg could always run as the nominee of 

the My Billionaire Is Richer Than Your Billionaire Party.

Warm Scuzzies #598

Bobby Hughes

"Did the Democratic convention make you feel like a weak 

and useless white male? That's why I didn't watch. I played 

with my Dilbert instead."

Trump Takes Evasive Action to Avoid Salvos

 from the Democratic National Convention

James O'Keefe Goes Undercover as a Hillary Supporter

Outside the DNC, Gets Roughed Up by Fellow Ruffians

Leader of the Dovetonsils Wing of the Ernie Bros to 

Recite His 'Ode to Donald the Mean Hillary Hater' 

at the Democratic National Convention

As TV ratings have demonstrated rather convincingly, who 

needs a President of the United States when you have

Honey Boo Boo?

“I think John Kerry diminished himself by even mention-

ing my name," Sarah Palin says.  Would to God everyone 

in the media would learn from Senator Kerry's mistake

and never, ever mention her name again!

Humans are always looking for new ways to compete.  The

reason:  so there can be winners and losers.  The idea is

that if you're a winner, you become immortal and won't

die.  Only losers die.

Ross Douthat Sez: "For the most part Obama's 

speech felt surprisingly banal and jury-rigged,

 not nearly douchey enough to suit me."

Omnipresent God Reportedly Happy to Be Back in

Democratic Party Platform

Mitt Wit #2

"My guess is, by the way, that Obama will not be 

appearing in front of Greek columns like in Denver. 

He won't want to remind people of Greece and that

rascal Socrates."

"Is the convention over yet?"

Pissed off by the Christian who prayed for a flood of biblical

proportions to strike during Barack Obama's acceptance

speech, God decided to deliver clear skies to Denver on

Thursday and Hurricane Gustav to the Gulf Coast next

Monday, the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the

day George Bush addresses the Republican National Convention.

Inside the Denver 'war room', Dick Wadhams, chairman of the

Colorado Republican Party, quipped, "Just consider this the

Ministry of Truth." This ministry was first made famous by

George Orwell in his novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four. It was

responsible for the falsification of historical events, like

the Democratic National Convention. Mr. Wadhams'

unconscious wit exemplifies Kinsley's Law, viz.,

"A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth."

The Maasai shepherd boy had really been looking forward to watching

Wolf Blitzer cover the Democratic National Convention this week. But

then his dog got a thorn in its paw, which initiated a chain of events

that made convention-watching impractical for him, if not

altogether impossible. "Maybe 2012," he thought.