Not the Right Time to Be Talking About

'Capital Assets'

The Spiny Dogfish Shark hunts in packs that can

range up into the thousands.  Its mildly poisonous

dorsal fins make piquant Shark Fin Soup.

Once thought to be extinct, the Trump Diatribe has 

reappared in the Potomac Basin.

Once thought to be extinct, the Barr-Barr 

Jellyflesh has been found groveling

on the shore of the Potomac River

in the District of Columbia.

The Least Racist Person in the World Canoeing

 the Least Polluted River in the World

Now that Trump has inadvertently revealed what has 

heretofore been a closely-guarded secret, we now know 

the true story of how General George Washington and

 one of his closest advisors crossed the Delaware during

 the Revolutionary War of 1812.

Bill Griffith, creator of Zippy the Pinhead, has shined the 

spotlight on an underappreciated movie genre, Cartoon 

Noir. Take, for instance, Psychotic Gumby Crossing the

 Delaware.

Before he jumped, the boy hadn't reckoned on 

pterodactyls.

Jeep Rubicon Denies Crossing Julius Caesar

Carly Fiorina says that "liberal environmentalists have 

prevented the building of a single new reservoir" in 

California.  Could that be because every river in the

 state of any significance has already been dammed?

Up and down the Limpopo that spring, Lands' End 

Orange Trunks were all the rage.

"Sorry, Mr. Vader, but the new Oklahoma law requires

you to check your hoodie at the Red River."

World's Worst Jobs #130

English Thamesside Busker

Gingrich Crossing the Delaware

Where's Kumar?

It stands to reason that if the temperature is -22 Fahrenheit

and you go skinny-dipping in an ice-bound river, you will

more than likely have an epiphany.

According to Innertubetarianism (a Libertarian
sect), TANSTAAFR (There Ain't No Such Thing as
a Free Ride) is the fundamental law of riverine life.

"We Republicans started drinking from that wonderful
Potomac River. We got that Potomac fever, and we
lost our minds."

Vice President's Permanent Address to Be Some

Undisclosed Location Along the Snake River

And then the day came when John McCain learned that the

Colorado River Compact had nothing to do with makeup and

wasn't something Cindy carried around in her purse.