Tony Snow Enlists Short People at Oklahoma Christian

University to Defend the Almighty in “The Second War in

This Country, the War on God”

Day of Skulls

Day of Numbskulls

"I guess you heard I sold my cast for $17,200. Do you

remember, Tony, if you got that much for selling your

soul to the Bush Administration?"

"Which was dumber, Tony: me breaking my wrist on

the set, or you joining the Bush Administration as

press secretary?"

"Tony, I have an idea. Break your wrist, I'll sign your

cast, auction it on eBay, and then maybe you'll have

enough money to tide you over until the end of the

Bush Administration."

"When I put my cast up for bid on eBay, Tony,

how much do you think it might fetch?"

"Welcome aboard, Tony. I understand you'll be my press secretary

until you and your family can't live on $168,000 a year."

"Stephen, I'm broke. Could you spot me $100

until the end of the month? Your pal, Tony."

Karl Rove in Mourning for Lies Left Untold

"The people of Las Vegas are taking next month off.

You know, it's 130 degrees out there in August."

After spending only three weeks in the Bush Bubble Simulator,

Astronaut Brent Jett (1) spoke like Tony Snow, (2) ordered a

second invasion of Iraq, (3) appointed Scooter Libby to lead

the National Task Force on Mnemonic Devices, and (4)

believed Dick Cheney is the Vice President of the
United States.

After bidding his disciples farewell, Tony Snow

began his ascent into heaven.

Owner says she named her pet albino hedgehog 'Tony Snow',

because "when attacked, it rolls into a tight ball, brandishes

its spines, and grunts, snuffles and squeals, just like the

President's press secretary."

Art Connoisseur Studying Tony Snow's Latest Work,

At This Juncture, People Have Hazy Memories

White House press secretary Tony Snow conceded Monday 

that conditions aboard the Titanic are "not getting better 

fast enough," but he insisted "the strategy for keeping it 

afloat is working."

"That I don't know. I just don't know. I really just

don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm

afraid even I really just don't know. I have to tell you I'm

afraid even I really just don't know. I'm afraid I have to tell

you I don't know. Does that answer your question, David?"

When asked on November 9 what the President's mood
 was, Tony Snow answered, "Look, he's handling it the
 way he handles all these things. I mean, I was up
watching election returns. The President is not a guy
who's -- I'm afraid he doesn't get on the couch, Jim.
What he does is -- the statement he's made many

times is, 'What it is is what it is'. And what you
have to do is now figure out how you're going to
proceed." Tony's ability to speak incoherently in
the same way his boss does is apparently a function
of the Presidential Mood Bracelet he wears on
his right wrist.

If a lie had a face, it would look like this.

"Mr. President, those reporters were just kidding

when they said I was a better obfuscator than you.

There's no question you're the best."

"It says here, on page two of the National Intelligence Estimate,

that 'If Republicans are protecting Americans from terrorists as

effectively as they are protecting pages from pedophiles,

we're fucked'."