Tortoise Taunts Hare

Iran has been within two years of having a nuclear 

bomb since 1984. As Zeno's paradox of Achilles and 

the Tortoise demonstrates, Iran will get closer and 

closer to having a nuclear bomb between now and 

eternity, but will never have one, just as Achilles 

never catches up with the tortoise.

Tortoises are the most abandoned pet in the United States.

Turtle, Tortoise, or Terrapin?

High-Centered Orange Snapper

At 100, Diego, the Galapagos Tortoise, says, "I'm a very 

sexually active male reproducer. Just thought you'd like 

to know."

"When Mom said she obeyed God's command to 'Be

fruitful and multiply', she wasn't kidding."

Mitch McConnell's Reptilian Brain Shows Who's Boss

"Who let the Tortoise in?"

"Holy hatrack, Batman!  We must be in the

Galapagos Islands!"

The final Des Moines Register poll indicates that 15% of Iowa

Republicans like the way Rick 'The Tortoise' Santorum

shows his teeth.

"Whaddya mean 'Go slow, dear'? 

That's the only way I can go!"

"After your early success as Bugs Bunny's co-star in

 Tortoise Wins By a Hare, you say you got into politics

because you wanted to look like Mitch McConnell.

So, what's next on your agenda?"

Egyptian Tortoises Finally Recognized for Their Role in

Helping to Topple the Mubarak Regime

"If you're like me," says Lonesome George, 
"every day is Hump Day."

Have you ever heard a watermelon scream?

Listen!

Sunday Reptilicat Blogging

"Forget about that dadblamed hare! We were built

for comfort, not for speed."

"Am I a rabbit or a hare?" the rodent wondered
as it waited for the tortoise to show up in what
promised to be Afghanistan's race of the century.

Tortoise Reaches Economic Summit, Wonders Where

the Other Members of the Obama Brain Trust Are