There are two kinds of Republicans who say Barack Obama is a

'terrorist': first, the Deluded, who really believe that he is, and

second, the Deluders, who don't believe that he is, but will say

anything to keep the Deluded deluded long enough to win the

next election.

"Did you hear the stock market fell 678 points today? That's the

good news. The bad news is that Bill Ayers contributed $200

to Barack Obama's campaign for re-election to the Illinois

State Senate in 2001."

Some rednecks are smart enough to realize that race is a

Republican Party wedge issue they can no longer afford.

Not just employers lowball these days.

Rather than conduct a bake sale to raise funds for 
her husband's presidential campaign, Cindy McCain 
has decided to sell her new cookbook at upcoming
 rallies. It's called The Testicle Cookbook:

Cooking with Balls.

"Gloves on or off, Senator McCain! It doesn't matter to me!"

The Moment the Governor of Alaska Learned Hugh Hewitt's Book,

How Sarah Palin Won the Election…and Saved America, Would

Not Be Published

Clarabell always chortled when Sister Aimee rubbed his tummy.

Much more unsightly than cellulite, a Devo Saddle appears

without warning and is virtually impossible to exuviate.

Rick Davis, chairman of the McCain/Palin campaign, says
 he isutterly mystified why crowds supporting the 
Republican nominees are booing and hissing, chanting
 "Traitor!", "Criminal!", "Terrorist!", and yelling "Kill 
Him!" and "Off with His Head!"

World's Worst Yoobs #26

Nicolle Wallace

"I know this may come as a shock to you, but I’ll be voting

for John McCain on November 4."

"I wonder what my Mom will say if I shout, 'Sarah, you're a hottie!'?"

Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN) has come out of the

closet wearing a Neiman-Marcus suit given to him

by a campaign contributor.

"Across this country, this is the agenda I have set before my

fellow prisoners and the same standards of clarity and candor

must now be applied to my opponent. Yes, my friends, we're all

POWs now!"

Recently-Declassified Photograph #9

FBI Finally Captures Fearguth the Hothead

(But Only on Film)

Barack Obama, who, disguised as a mild-mannered Senator from

Illinois, will lead the United States in the never-ending battle for

Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

"Remember what Candy told the hunchback in the Terry

Southern novel? Well, that's what Sarah keeps telling me:

'Give me your hump, John, give me your hump!'"

At age 72, John McCain knows his greatest enemy

is not Barack Obama. It's the Law of Gravity.

"I'll fund my health care plan by betting on red.

That leaves green and yellow. Senator Obama?"

"Sarah Palin represents a fatal cancer on the Republican Party.

Me? I'm just a Seborrheic Keratosis."

Republican Breakfast Du Jour:

Bagel with a Schmear of Obama

Popular Republican Party Card Game

American Empire #37

Global Leadership

Q: Who is Barack Obama?

A: This one, not that one.

"Awww, but you winked at me FIRST!"

World's Worst Yobs #53

Andrew McCarthy

Photo of John McCain Taken by Loser in Debate Drinking Game

Obama Campaign Turns Another Sow's Ear

into a Silk Purse

Somewhat grudgingly, Cindy McCain concedes that Senator Obama

has excelled her husband in one important respect: Barack has

"waged the dirtiest campaign in American history.”

Republican Presidential Candidate Denies Ever Saying

"Yum, Yum, Eat'em Up!"

The salivating blogger believed the only way Sarah Palin
 could salvage John McCain's presidential campaign was
 to bare her breasts in the last scene, like Julie Andrews
 did in S. O. B.

Imagine that a gang of Identity Thieves came in overnight and stole

everything that Superman used to protect: Truth, Justice, and the

American Way. What would you call this gang?

The Bush Administration

For the sake of argument, let's assume Brigitte Bardot dies

and goes to Hell. Let's also assume her punishment is to

become Michelle Malkin, the Ugliest Woman in the World.

In terms of the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution,

wouldn't this be 'cruel and unsual punishment'?

Brigitte Bardot has declared that Sarah Palin is

"a disgrace to women." In tennis, this is what is

called 'Game, Set, Match'.

World's Worst Yoobs #25

Mary Katharine Ham

Silvio Berlusconi, the billionaire Prime Minister of Italy,

wants you to know how much he loves the smell of his

money in the morning.

John McCain is to Joe McCarthy as Sarah Palin is to 
Phyllis Schlafly.  They're all so 1950s-ish.

American International Group executives have agreed to be

shot at dawn, but only on the condition that they be given

manicures, facials, massages, and pedicures first.

After having the riot act read to him by Sarah Hussein Obama,

Barack's grandmother, Jerome Corsi was deported from Kenya

on the ground that he was 'impersonating an author'.

Stormtrooper at Florida Palin Rally Identified

as Mike Scott, Lee County Sheriff

Oppo Researcher for McCain Campaign Scraping

the Bottom of the Barrel

"Want to learn all you need to know about Keating Economics

in less time than it takes John McCain to count all his houses?

If so, click on Fearguth's link."

When asked how Sarah Palin got the nickname 'barracuda', one

of her classmates thought it had to do with "that little grin thing

she does. She sets her teeth. It looks like she's eating jerky.

Flashing some fang, you know."

"For me, the heels are on. For you, the hoods are off."

Got Palin?

Study Says One in Four Mammals Threatened with

Extinction, Especially Those That Still Believe in the

Easter Bunny and President Bush

Ahhh! To flutter, to float, to glide, to dangle, to sip:

that's the life of a true monarch.

For all of you who thought you were linking to Fearguth's

Facebook page, sorry. This is the Assbook page for a

couple of Chinese Crested Dogs.

"Sarah's so strong, she's so capable, she's so competent! And

with God's help, she will be elected Vice President of the

United States, the position God denied me because I was

so weak, so incapable, and so incompetent."