If Ernest Powertools Worrell can go to Summer Camp,
so can Fearguth. Look for him to return online next
Monday afternoon, May 25.

World's Worst Yobs #98
Ramesh Ponnuru

Sarko the Giant's Rubber Ducky

When Escargots Strike Back

She wouldn't trust her husband as far as she could
throw him. And that was pretty far.

Democratic Party Marching Toward Socialism,
Republican Party Slouching Toward Gollumism

You have to admit that some of the Gitmo detainees look
pretty scary, especially King Ghidorah of Fuckupistan.

The Governor of Mississippi has declined to walk through
one of the new full-body imaging machines in order to test
his oft-repeated claim that he keeps all the skinny parts of
his body hidden on the inside of his suit.

"I just heard Michael Steele say, 'Change is being delivered
in a tea bag. And that’s a wonderful thing'. Isn't he just the
shiznit?"

Scientists Unveil Completely-Naked

47-Million-Year-Old Female

Primate Named 'Ida'

If anybody asks, tell them Senator Harry Reid (D-NV)

has switched from the party symbolized by a donkey

to the party symbolized by a horse's ass.

If you're old enough, you may recall your mother
or grandmother going out into the chicken yard,
using a wire hook to snag a young fryer, and then
wringing its head off. Remember how the poor thing
flopped around pitifully until it finally expired?

If so, you're probably familiar with the expression,

'chicken with its head cut off', which aptly describes

the behavior of today's Republican Party.

If you are among the one-third of credit card users
who do not carry a balance from month to month,
you are considered a 'Deadbeat Paying Customer'
by the industry. On the other hand, if you max
out your cards, make minimum monthly payments,
occasionally exceed your credit limit, and miss a
monthly payment every now and then, you are
a 'Lifetime Preferred Customer'.

In 1995, when the Speaker of the House led the effort to
shut down the federal government, Nancy Pelosi could
have justifiably said of Newt Gingrich: "I think this is the
most despicable, dishonest and vicious political effort I've
seen in my lifetime. He is a trivial politician, viciously
using partisanship for the narrowest of purposes, and
he dishonors the Congress by his behavior." But she,
unlike Newt Gingrich, was too classy to say something
like that.

"Steele Seeks to 'Turn the Page' for Republican Party,"
the headline reads. Isn't this what Mark Foley was
doing that cost him his seat in Congress?

WTF? It's time for those tea sippers again?

Tattoos Suing Alaska Governor for
Defamation of Characters

Dung Fever Epidemic Hits EIB Network;
Rush Limbaugh Sounding Shittier
Than Usual

If you believe that "God moves in mysterious ways, His
wonders to perform," what wonder do you suppose He
had in mind when Robert Mugabe took the oath of office
for his umpteenth term as the High Muckety-Muck
of Zimbabwe?

"I'm way too big to just be the leader of a political party,
like the GOP. No, my friends, you must remember that
I'm Hellboar Von Porkulus, Plenipotentiary of the Pig
People and Other White Meatheads!"