Being an Allosaurus periodontist

is taxing work, but it's a living.

Kaiju Fans and Paleontologists Thrilled by Discovery of 

Extremely Rare Gamera Fossil

Bedrock Man Believed to Be Paleoanthropological Hoax

Wayne Propst, Tyler, Texas Arkeologist, Says He 

Has Found Fossils from Noah's Flood in His

Front Yard

Return of the Repressed

The Dakotaraptor, discovered in the Hell Creek Formation, 

lived during the Cretinous Period of the Republican Party.

"'Just one lobe short of a Trilobite'?  I heard that!"

'850,000-Year-Old Footprints of Man and Dinosaurs 

Found on English Beach'

"Sheesh, I know all about meterologists!  One hundred 

and sixy-five million years ago the weather forecaster 

said, 'Fair and mild'. And so I took a long crawl.  

Look at me now!"

Iowa Man Keeps 100,000-Year-Old Mammoth Bone 

as Chew Toy for His Pet Sabre-Tooth Tiger

Conspiracy theories come and go, but the oldest, 

according to paleontologists, is the Great Quetzalcoatlus 

Scavenger Hunt Theory, first propounded 65 million 

years ago by a species of relatively small saurids who are, 

unfortunately, unattested by any known fossil record.

Some paleontologists interpret these fossil remains to

mean 'the dinosaur was overweight'.  Others would

say, "No, the dinosaur was just big-boned."

And Now for Something Completely Different:

Newt Gingrich, Amateur Paleontologist

"I love Barack Obama," said Senator Coburn. "I think he's

a neat man. I don't want him to be president, but I still love

him. He is our President. He's my President. And I disagree

with him adamantly on 95% of the issues, but that doesn't

mean I can't have a great relationship. And that's a model

people ought to follow." This was just too good to last,

so five minutes later, Asteroid 2005 YU55 collided with

the Earth, causing the greatest mass extinction since the

end of the Cretaceous Period, 65 million years ago.

Little Known Fact #4

They didn't know it at the time (some 390 million years ago),

but sea scorpions were taller than the tallest player in the NBA.

Paleontologists announced today the discovery of the fossil

remains of a new dinosaur species, Albertoceratops gonzalesi.

The discoverers say this species probably became extinct as a

result of chronic forgetfulness, until, one day, it apparently

forgot it existed.

If you're thinking about taking a vacation to Utah,

here are two reasons you shouldn't: Senators Orrin

Hatch and Bob Bennett. These guys are so Precambrian

in their worldview that they make trilobites look like

radical utopians.