AKA 'The F Word'

 Home Depot Billionaire Blames Pope Francis for 

Making Fat Cats "Incapable of Feeling Compassion 

for the Poor"

RNC Shells Out $150,000 for Midterm Election Essential

Doomsday Preppers to Feature Katie Smith, Washington

 State's Premier Jack-o'-Lantern Hunter

"Is that Ben Gozzi?"

"No, it's Chali Cabbagemallet."

When not nesting, the Falcon is one of the fastest

creatures on Earth.

Major Gen. Paul E. Vallely (Ret.) attributes his incipient

insanity to a lack of sleep caused by the fact Valerie

 Jarrett 'wields all the power' in Washington, D.C.

"If my gun and bow don't getcha, my third leg will!"

Although Fearguth was a college librarian

who quested for almost 25 years, he never 

found the spear.  He did, however, discover

a pinwheel in the stacks one day.

When was the last time you wondered

what Todd Palin is doing these days?

[It must be tough being an ex-$ellebrity.]

"The tie?  Oh, Ben Franklin obviously 

wouldn't approve, but it's a loaner from 

Fearguth's Ludicrous Librarian Legacy 

Collection."

"Drone pilot, drone pilot
How high can you fly
You'll never, never, never reach the sky."

Things to Avoid #26

Crabs Big Enough to Crack Coconuts

Old Men with Guns #13

Harry Carl Mapps

Renouncing citizenship in his motherland has made

the hoser side of Ted Cruz sad.

"No, no, no, you got the pronunciation all wrong!  It's

Ben-ˈgä-zē, not Beng-ˈhä-zē."

Adam Schiff Sez:  "Quite frankly, Al-Qaida scares me

shitless!"

Doge Leonardo Loredan

His Doge Shibe

Carolina Grim Reapers, the Earth's Hottest Peppers

Mr. Bluster Urges Atheists to Exercise Their 'Right

to Leave the Country'

Some said he was stupidly obstinate; others said he was

pigheaded.

Tête-à-tête

"How do you like the Beretta PX4 Storm 

Santa brought me?"

Warm Scuzzies #438

Cactus Canyon

"Do you think I look better with the beard or without it?"

New Year go away!  We're not quite 

through with the old one yet.

In the 19th century, Russia gave the world Pushkin, 

Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky.  In the 20th century, Russia 

gave the world Lenin, Stalin, and the AK-47.

Do Not Use as a Flotation Device!

Tenth Circuit Court Allows Utah Men to Kiss, But with No 

Tongue and Not Longer Than Three Minutes and Six Seconds

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #534

Alan Dershowitz

Osama Bin Daffy and Premier Christian Cruises, Inc. 

Charter the Carnival Victory for the 'Duck Commander 

Cruise', July 17-21, 2014

2014 Republican Party Ballot After the 

Chamber of Commerce Declared,

"No Fools on Our Ticket!"

If we lie to Congress, it's a crime.  

But if Congress lies to us, it isn't.  

Why is that?

Chewbacca Sez:  "No More Joint Pain!"

Once again you did not make Gawker's annual list of

 'The Least Important Writers'.  Congratulations!

"When I'm gone, my son, Kim Jong-un, is liable to get drunk

and start executing his kinfolks and all their friends.  He 

believes he's Stalin redivīvus, you know."

"No doubt about it, Suzy:  someone has jammed Obamacare

down your throat."

Have you read Jonah Goldberg's new book?

How Ted Cruz Reacted When He Learned He Was One of

the 'Top 10 Villains of 2013'

"Oh fudge!  It's Boxing Day!"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #91

Robolizard

His teacher seemed to have eyes in the back

of his head.

Tareq Salahi's Run for House of 

Representatives in Virginia: See It

on Pay-Per-View for Only $14.95!

Little Known Fact #47

H.R. 448 is a bipartisan resolution to protect Christmas 

from Doug Lamborn.

Pope Francis Wishes Rush Limbaugh a

Merry 'Trickle-Down' Christmas

You had to be a very bad little boy

to earn a visit from Miley Krampus.

Before Christians Lost Their Religious Liberty to

Burn People at the Stake

Andrew Sullivan Sez:  "I have to say I’m befuddled by the 

firing of Phil Robertson, he of the amazing pater-

familias beard on Duck Dynasty."

"Pardon me, sir, but would you say you're a

Low-Information Voter, a Misinformation

Voter, or a Disinformation Voter?"