Fundamentalist pastor Grant Storms has been

arrested for masturbating in a public park.  "I

thought the sign said, 'Pubic Park'," he claimed

afterwards.

AKA 'Ship of Tools'

"My name is Rick Perry, Governor of Governors!

Look on my works, you journalists, and despair; for

I can even block you from following me on Twitter!"

Congressman Rivera really enjoyed discussing

'collateral material development' with Esther

Nuhfer, his political consultant, especially

when she wore her fuchsia gownless

evening strap.

The Top 10 Things You Never

Want to Do Even If You Live

to Be 100

1. Try to Comb Rick Perry's Hair

2. Diagram One of Sarah Palin's Sentences

3. Move to Montana, the Tea Party State

4. Sit on the Three-Legged Conservative Stool

5. Become the Sole Manufacturer of a Lethal

Injection Drug

6. Get Close Enough to Actually Touch Rush

Hudson Limbaugh III

7. Think about Teabagging a Teabagger

8. Ask "Could Nuclear War Reverse Global Warming?"

9. Try to Say "Pfaugh!"

10. Be a Bay of Pigs Invasion Re-Enactor

"Hold us closer Potty Dancer

Count the headlights on the Beltway

Lay us down in sheets of Charmin

You had a busy day today."

"Sorry to disappoint, Scott, but you're not Perseus, David

Koch isn't Zeus, and this isn't Clash of the Titans."

"I really like the way General Buck Turgidson

chews gum in this scene."

Just as a truly intelligent person never says, "Hey, look at me!

I'm intelligent!" a truly exceptional people never says, "Hey,

look at us! We're so exceptional we drink blue Gatorade

out of Windex bottles!"

"Actually, it's coonskin.  You just can't see

the tail on the back.  Oh, yes, I've been a big

 fan of Davy Crockett ever since I was a child."

"Robert Gates, your successor as Secretary of Defense, has

stated that anyone in that office who would advise the

President to send our military into Asia or Africa or the

Middle East should have his head examined.   Now that

you're 78, one would assume that's already included as

part of your annual physical.  Is this a safe assumption,

Secretary Rumsfeld?"

Darrell Issa says that "Everyone has a past." 

That's true.  But not everyone has been arrested

for auto theft and illegal possession of firearms,

or has worked as a circus clown.

"Hey, I'll call you Tonto, if you'll call me The Lone Ranger!"

"You say the GOP's proposed budget cuts will destroy

700,000 jobs?  Sorry, I can't hear you!"

Warm Scuzzies #151

Mike Haridopolos

David Koch's Limo

"Republicans are trying to pass a law to forbid our teachers

from talking to us about homosexuality."

"Yeah, Republicans are so gay!"

"I'm probably the most transparent member of Congress

as of right now," says Representative David Rivera (R-FL).

Tweety at 68

Mickey Kaus:  The Man Who Stares at Goats

Donald Trump at Little Big Horn

Fox News Backs Sleeper Candidate for 2012

World's Worst Yobs #211

Mike Tobin

"Don't look now, but someone on Bildungblog is staring at us."

Speaker Boehner Promises to Start Praying

for America as Soon as He Finishes the

18th Hole

The Unexpurgated Bible #50

"And Jesus said unto it, 'Go!' And when it had come out of

public life, the God of Gingrich went into a herd of swine:

and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a

steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters."

'Anonymous' Takes Down Americans for Prosperity Website;

Biggest Koch Bust Since Governor Walker Punked

"There are a couple of salesmen waiting to see you,

sir.  I believe they're here to sell you another war."

"I'm here today to say, 'Thank you.' Thank you for standing up

to the ruling class. Thank you for standing up to the liberal

power brokers, guardians of the status quo, and the royal

triangle of greed: big government, big unions, and big

bailed-out businesses. And thank you for supporting

Minnesotans, like me, who suffer from 'Intermittent

Explosive Disorder'!"

"What does Rachel Maddow know about facts?  She doesn't

wear a ridiculous Rubik's Cube tie like me, does she? 

Need I say more?"

Contrary to popular belief, this is not a shaded relief map of

the Colorado Plateau. It's just an illustration out of 

The Roadside Geology of Arizona.

Unncessary Evil Sez:  "I think government

 is a necessary evil."

Higher Ed

Lower Ed

"Hey, I'm a reasonable guy! You shouldn't criticize the First

Lady because she says we should eat more broccoli. No,

you should criticize her because she's married to a man who

believes the right to collective bargaining was inscribed

on tablets of stone he brought down from the top of

Mount Sinai.  We know he didn't do that. Moses did."

You could only get past Governor Walker's security detail if

you pronounced Koch correctly, i. e., as 'Coke'---not 'Cook'

 or 'Kawch'---first in a very high register, then in a much lower.

Gucci Wallet

Tea Party Wallet

If Rush Limbaugh Were a Sex Toy

"One down, only 59,999 to go!"

Be careful how you look at Professor Althouse as

she plays 'Chopsticks', or she might render you

unconscious with her legal argument about

'Viewpoint Discrimination Under the

First Amendment'.

"My wife and I believe in the same things and are focused

on defending Liberty Central, er, uh, liberty."

The Last Supper of Colonel Gaddafi

and His Voluptuous Blonde Nurse

Legislation Introduced to Forbid Illegal Immigrants

from Breathing Arizona Air

The SPLC says Pam Geller's posse is filled with hate. 

Makes sense, since the rest of her is.

Writes Tony Woodlief: "Sometimes I am overwhelmed,

as I stand with my sons in the cathedral, by the feeling

of safety."

"All I said was 'I've always wanted to meet Nick Gillespie'.

You are Nick Gillespie, aren't you?"

“I never thought seven years ago that Newt Gingrich would

consider me as his vice-presidential running mate in 2012. I'm

always ready to serve my country, but I'll still have to clear it

with God, my wife, and two daughters."

  Union Organizer with Attitude,

John Dominic Crossan's

'Blasphemous' Portrait

of Jesus

Scott Bundgaard, Republican Leader of the Arizona

State Senate, Gets Into Violent Argument over

'Family Values' with Girlfriend While Driving

Down the Freeway, Isn't Arrested Because

Legislators Are Immune While Legislature

Is in Session Bashing Immigrants