Before

After

Caution:  Watching Fox News While Wearing an

iRenew Bracelet Poses a Serious Acid Trip Hazard

Blizzard Causes All 100 Cars in North Dakota

to Pile Up Near Fargo

Zombie Economists to Consider Ethics Code

Very gradually, Ralph Peters began to suspect that

even he had 'leftist tendencies'.

He needed to go really bad, and the hearing

had just begun.

"I like the way you say 'slavery reparations', Steve."

"I see BLACK PEOPLE!!!"

They say Enu Mainigi was hired primarily to style

Rick Scott's hair.

Warm Scuzzies #132

Lanny Davis

Remember the day when the best media criticism

became nonverbal?

Even Republican pollsters, like Frank

Luntz, are fat.  There's a reason for that,

but he will never ask the question which

would reveal the answer.

Gary Bauer believes Muslims in America are treated better than

Christians.  Well, if he is representative of Christians in

America, it's understandable why that would happen.  But,

in truth, he looks more like someone who should be a

representaive of that very rare sect, the Albino Chameleons.

Although he never talks about the Master of Invective Arts

degree he received from Driftglass University, Stephen

Colbert never fails to put it to good use.

"Dadgumit!  I have a license from the Doghouse Riley

School of Ranting, and I can rant anytime I want to!"

Mitt Romney Accepting Meg Whitman's Challenge to Waste

More of His Own Money in 2012 Than He Did in 2008

If you've ever wanted to see how presidential timber dies

from the top down, take a gander at Mitch Daniels and

Haley Barbour.

Pigs Seek Higher Ground to Escape the Rising

Tide of Haley Barbour/Boss Hog Analogies

"Sure it hurts, but think about how much your kidney donation

is saving the taxpayers of Mississippi.  And, oh, by the way,

Governor Barbour wishes you a Happy New Year!"

"OK, Scott, how much for the flag lapel pin?"

"Well, I ..."

"All right then, a copy of the Book of Mormon

and $5 down. Must be my final offer!"

"Really, it's not for sale!"

"Not for sale, what does that mean? If you're

a Republican, everything's for sale!"

China Announces Beltless Anti-Gravity Breakthrough

"You say I'm descended from wolves? 

Sure, sure, sure, tell me another one!"

Roy Edroso Being Decontaminated After His Latest Descent

into the Right Blogosphere

Alec Rawls, son of the renowned philosopher, John Rawls,

demonstrates the truth of Nietzsche's dictum, namely, that

a married philosopher belongs in comedy.  Or, at the very

least, that the son of a married philosopher is destined

to become a comedian. 

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #257

Bobby Franklin

To guarantee absolute fidelity to the text,

Republican members of the House of

Representatives should be required to read

from the original Gouverneur Morris

handwritten version of the Constitution.

World's Worst Yoobs #84

Jessica Yellin

Vatican Creates Financial Watchdog

Hey! Mr. Tangerine Man, Shed a Tear for Me

"I am NOT a crooked witch!"

Have you ever wondered why there are

so many more wine snobs in the world

 than Fritos snobs?

"Take it from me, Algonquin J.

Calhoun, Allen West is not nearly

as smart as he looks."

On that day, Paul Tillich's doctrine of the 'Eternal Now'

began to lose its grip on their imagination.

Even as a child, Samson knew the Philistines were

out to get him.

"Many people don't know this, but my ego is much, much

larger than my body."

For the life of him, Sarko the Giant couldn't figure out

how mirrors worked.

Other than cutting off its corporate subsidy, there is still no

known way to kill a Libertarian zombie, like Nick Gillespie.

Scientists warn that the risk of 'Death by

Astonishment' will increase exponentially

when the Republican-dominated House of

Representatives convenes on January 5, 2011.

New Study Reveals Conservatives Have

Larger ‘Fear Center’ in Their Brains

Discovery of 400,000-Year-Old Cavity-Free Tooth

Indicates Crest Toothpaste Was in Use Much

Earlier Than Once Thought

The latest advance in Tea Party technology will make taking

America back to the 1950s a little less traumatic.

Andrew Breitbart Using His Mac to Order an

Electric Bath Duck

"I understand, Judith, that you've made the great leap from

the New York Times to Newsmax.  Congratulations!  If you

eventually make it all the way to WorldNetDaily, you will

have hit the trifecta.  Call me when that happens, and I'll

fix you up at Fox."

Frosty the Dickhead Controversy

Rocks Small Indiana Town

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #256

John Moore

As he shoveled snow, he couldn't decide if it was a cold

war relic or a Cold War relic.

Concern Troll

Concern Whale