Michele Bachmann Reacts to the Announcement

She Has Won a 2011 Golden Duke Award for

'Meritorious Achievement In The Crazy'

Psycho Talker of the Year (1960)

Psycho Talker of the Year (2011)

If he and his money were retrojected into 18th-century France,

Mitt Romney and Marie Antoinette would probably have been 

husband and wife.

Newt Gingrich Sez: "Politics has become a really

 nasty, vicious, negative business and I think it's

 disgusting and I think it's dishonest." And it all

began when Newt was first elected to the

House of Representatives in 1978.

All Ron Paul has to do to scare people is look at them.  He

has what's called a 'Conspiracy Planet' face.

Verizon Wireless Just Seconds Before It Was Flattened

by the Trojan Rabbit

The mere thought of Speaker Boehner was enough to

bring tears to Newt's eyes.

When you spend $5,000 for a hamburger in Las Vegas,

they call it a Fleurburger 5000.

"As I go under the knife, I want all my primate

friends---especially Cheetah, Bonzo, and J.

Fred Muggs---to remember me."

Some Scientologists now admit that the only

miracle L. Ron Hubbard never actually

performed was leading the Israelites

across the Red Sea on dry land. But, they

quickly add, he could have done it had

he wanted to.

Just as Carl Sagan once said, "There are billions and

billions of Miss Universes."

Ghost of the Senate Past

Keep saying to yourself, "Florida's state capitol doesn't look

like Rick Scott's 'junk'."

When Mitt Romney said, "I am not a Wall Street guy,

classically defined, but I am not going to quibble over

definitions," he surprised himself, having accomplished

something no one had ever done before: namely, a

complete 360-degree flip-flop in less than 25 words.

 As a music critic said of her recently, Rihanna's "breezy dance

tracks rub up against poignant, gothically ruptured rock-soul

 ballads" (as you can see here).  Back in the day, ecdysiasts

only bumped, grinded, and then dropped their laundry.  Now

they also sing.

"Why charge only $2.00 for customers to pay their monthly

bills online or by phone?  Get real!  If I were Verizon, I'd

charge what the traffic would bear---and then some!"

As you can tell from this chart, oil barrels have become

bigger, bigger, and bigger over the years.

Did you know that some Tea Party members are so rich

they can afford customized straitjackets?

InstaHypnotist

"Whatever your objective, Glock has a firearm

with your name on it."®

"If I were a movie producer, Charlie, I would make

Mooseferatu, starring Sarah Palin."

The Unexpurgated Bible #67

In the beginning, the Earth was flat.  Then God

created beer, and the Earth became round.

What Newt Gingrich Was Thinking When He Said He Would

'Look At' Sarah Palin for Vice President or a Cabinet Job

"I'm for phalangeal inequality.  I think people with five fingers

on their right hands should have more than those who don't,

because some people work harder and have better ideas

and take more risk, and they should be rewarded for it."

"Criminy!  I'm so 2009 it almost makes me weep!"

Up close, the GEICO gecko is really pretty scary.

"Quite honestly, if you realized what a big bag of wind I am, I

don't think you could resist the temptation to stick a pin in me."

By now, the whole world understands why Rick Perry's GPA

at Texas A&M was 2.22.

Some things are worth remembering, some aren't.  In the

latter category belongs this headline:  'Rick Santorum

Slams President Obama For Revealing Osama Bin

Laden Died'.

Little Known Fact #23

"About 65 billion solar neutrinos per second pass through

every square centimeter perpendicular to the direction of

the Sun in the region of the Earth."  You might want to

keep this in mind the next time you step outside to soak

up some rays.

Flag Desecration #50

Greedheads Galore #21

Tom Golisano

What to Get for Someone, Like Matt Romney, Who Has

Everything (Except Brains):  a Barack Obama Birth

Certificate Mug

Factoid of the Hour #15

Slime Molds are smarter than you think.

Dudley Do-Wrong Sez: “Every barrel of oil

that comes out of those sands in Canada is

a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy

from a foreign source.”

"Follow me on Twitter . . . or else!"

"Rock Music Has Worst Year Ever," Says Critic

Who Listens to Lithophones

Verizon Playing 'Poke-the-Customer-in-the-Eye'

Cheetah Goes Out in Style

Warm Scuzzies #250

Mike Scott

With the sales of her campaign auto-

biography having fallen off sharply,

it was decided to re-issue it as a

cookbook.

Romney Gives PBS the Bird

Having heard that Michele Bachmann will be the next GOP

hopeful to go hunting in Iowa, these Ring-Necked

Pheasants decided to play possum.

There are optimists, like Roy Edroso, who say, "Perry is

George W. Bush minus 20 IQ points."  And then there

are the pessimists.

Rick Santorum in Iowa Hunting for Ring-Necked Peasants

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #348

Phillip Kayser

"Senator Sorenson wanted me to tell you that Iowa

Republicans think Ron Paul's racist newsletters and crazy

positions are features, not bugs."

Texas taxpayers are spending $400,000 a month to 'secure'

Governor Perry as he traipses around the country,

embarrassing the hell out of the Lone Star State. And

what's the taxpayer's return on investment? Currently,

Perry is polling dead last--at 2%--in New Hampshire.

And that's among his fellow Republicans!