Human Cistern

"Folks up here call me Saint Peter, Senator Helms,

but you can call me Sweety."

"Are we there yet, Senator Helms?"

In the Age of Surveillance, Cammy Fashion was all the rage.

That's why the people in this photomontage are so hard to see.

The Coupon-Clipper/Loyalty-Card Shopper's Dream

If your bride-to-be wins the wedding cake eating contest,

you might consider collecting food stamps as a hobby.

Sellmonella Outbreak Prompts Recall of Tainted Blackberries

McCain Promises to Balance Budget, Cut Taxes,

Repeal Law of Gravity

Ancient Tablet Ignites Debate on Messiah and Resurrection

Rude Rhymes #2

Car Wreck

Glenn Beck

iPodnuh

At his 62nd birthday party, President Bush dutifully

pretended surprise when his staff presented him with

a wooden box made from a giant oak tree that fell on the

White House lawn in 2007. The tree had been planted by
the daughter of Benjamin Harrison, the President whose

greatest achievement was being born in Indiana.

Rude Rhymes #1

Road Pizza

Chris Cillizza

Hear no evil three times in a row and it will go away.

Another Embarrassing Typo.

Should Be: The Most Rusted Name in News

"Has anybody ever told you, Governor Crist, that you

look just like an Atlantic City croupier?"

“Now we’ve got the cables. We've got the tubes. We've got

the Internet traditions. We’ve got talk radio. We’ve got the

bloggers. I hate the bloggers. We’ve got all kinds of sources

of information.”

"In the immortal words of Thomas Friedman, 'Suck. On. This.'"

Brother McKenzie says, "You're a hoser, eh?"

Is this what Jesus had in mind when he said, "I will

make you fishers of men?"

World's Worst Jobs #85

Filipino Crocodile Orthodontist

World's Worst Yobs #39

Tony Blankley

"I am proud of the decision of this administration to

overthrow Saddam Hussein. It's just a shame we had

to invade Iraq in order to do it."

Two Dead in Suspected Murder-Suicide

"I've been waterboarded twice, but, on balance,

I would have to say doing without cigarettes

for 24 hours would be worse torture."

People who are about to lie often unconsciously rub their noses.

Greta Van Susteren claims to be 'the #1 woman 
in all of cable news'.  Her success is often 
attributed to the bull market in missing persons.

Less often, her success is credited to her 
rugged good looks.

A nationwide identity theft ring, which specialized in stealing the

political identities of John McCain, has been smashed. More than

a dozen of his identities--all different--have been recovered so far.

Thank You for Not Smocking

Where Obama May Deliver His Acceptance Speech

Where McCain May Deliver His

Forgetting Senator No

"Nutrient in Watermelon Yields Viagra-Like Results,"

Texas Scientists Report

"Today is the day we celebrate the most memorable epoch in

the history of America, the time when we were delivered by

the Foundling Fathers."

Even if Congress and the President continue to slice and

dice the Constitution, we can still celebrate July 4th as

the day whales on stilts gained their independence.

Sometimes typographical errors can be pretty embarrassing.

Had you clicked on this link expecting a Stock Tip, you would

have encountered instead an ad for

Stock Dip.

It's impolite to point, unless you're the Chancellor of Germany.

For some reason, the streets of Kabul were filled

with epigones of the Karate Kid.

"Uh-oh. Tell the coach Andrew is having another

one of his weightlessness attacks."

You can always tell how sober Amy Winehouse is by

the number of cocktail parasols in her hair.

"You can argue all you want, but there's no way

your end justifies the means!"

Fearguth Refuses to Alter Unflattering Photograph of Rupert Murdoch;

Fox News Responds: "Disgusting" ... "Beneath Comment" ... "Fighting

with a Pig"

"See that crocodile over there. We've trained it to stay perfectly
still so you can take better pictures. But please keep your hands
inside the boat. Crocs, you know, are always looking for a hand out."

"Hey, buddy! Take up thy cross and follow me! Did you

hear what I said, buddy? Darn it! Lost another one!"

“I thank God for my drug addiction. It made me understand my
shortcomings, such as being unable to love myself sufficiently."

Rush Limbaugh Doing What He Does Best: Blowing Smoke

American Empire #30

Coercive Interrogation Techniques